Friday, July 20, 2007

Weekly Roundup, Featuring Weekend Monkey 7/20/7



And now, it's time for the weekly roundup for Joshua's Army members...a rundown of news and views, featuring me and my close personal friend, Democrat presidential candidate Weekend Monkey!

FF: Hiya Weekend Monkey! Whaddup?

WM: Whaddup yourself FF! Kind of a slow week, hmmm?

FF: Us true news junkies prefer to think of it as more in depth coverage of fewer items. ( cackle) Speaking of small items, uhh, how's the campaign going?

WM: Whoo, I thought you were gonna say something else and get us both in trouble! Same-o same-o, y'know. The work continues, educating the primates.

FF: What did you think of the Senate overnighter, Monkey? Is Harry Reid a bald faced liar or what?

WM: Now, you know I can't go there, FF. I will say though, I agree with Kucinich. If you want the troops out of Iraq that bad, cut the funding and take the heat.

FF: You know, these guys claim to be supporting the troops, but that amendment on pulling the troops out in 120 days was tacked on to a defense appropriations bill that had badly needed funds for equipment for our people, not to mention a pay raise for the troops. Do they give a damn that there are military families struggling to make ends meet, especially people that used to have decent civvy jobs but are deployed with the National Guard in Iraq helping to keep the country safe?

Because of Reed and his pals, the whole bill got shelved.Our warriors don't get their equipment or their pay raise.

WM: Wow, I didn't know that. That's pretty awful...you know I'd never be a part of anything like that, FF.Democrats are supposed to be the compassionate ones.

Howcum the media didn't highlight this?

FF: You have to ask, Monkey? The dinosaur media is mostly in the tank...some of them mentioned it, but you really have to dig.I guarantee you, if a Republican or a conservative had pulled the plug on a pay raise and equipment for our troops, it would be a front page headline across the country.Remember the crap about Bush and the body armor?

WM: Yeah, that's why I read your stuff, FF. Even this Monkey knows better than to trust Katie Couric, the New York Times or CNN. Ummm, so...what's really going on Iraq? I read the Petraeus thing, he seems....what's that torrid little phrase you love to use..cautiously optomistic. At least he seems more on top of things than Abazaid.

FF: Hey, don't diss Abazaid. He was operating under the orders they gave him. But I agree, General Petraeus seems really on top of things. Did you read where they caught the head jihadi from al-Qaeda in Iraq and got him to admit that they had an Iraqi actor pretending to be the head of it, so it would seem more local?

WM: Shoulda auditioned me for the part.

FF: Monkey @#@$!! Trust me, you wouldn't look good in a turban. Anyway, they're pushing al-Qaeda back to the point where they're running out of safe havens. I mean, they caught this clown in Mosul, not in Anbar or Diyali.

The biggest problem is the Iraqi government, but I think that's gonna solve itself.

WM : How you figure, FF?

FF: Well, new elections are coming soon, and the Sunnis aren't going to boycott them like last time. I think that will make a difference. Another possibility is that we might neutralize Iran, although I doubt it. Unless we do, the whole thing is moot anyway.

WM: I read where the Bush Administration and Iran agreed to direct talks.

FF: Yeah, but you know my views on that. It will come to nothing in the end.Still I understand the whys and wherefores of it - that new agreement with El Baradi and the IAEA gives the mullahs another four months to work on their nukes without any problems from the UN whatsoever, so they may as well give diplomacy another shot.

Anywho, assuming Iran is still in the picture, another possibility is that Iraq simply fragments, more or less peacefully into three parts. At least if that happens, hopefully we will have basically set up a situation where things are more stable and Iraq won't become Waziristan South.Or, maybe the new government that's elected in will be more efficient and representative of the 3 major groups.Worth a shot, at least for now.

WM: So, FF, howdja like President Bush's new Middle East plan...as if I didn't know, hee hee!

FF: Very funny, Monkey. If Bush was still a drinking man, I'd say he was heavy into the Jack and percodan.

WM: Oooohweeeee! Still, I think picturing him as Neville Chamberlain was maybe just a leetle harsh.



FF: Accurate though, Monkey. Remember that Neville Chamberlain thought he was doing the good and right thing. He wasn't evil, just naive and short sighted. And as a matter of fact, once he realized how wrong he'd been, he got pretty tough, even Churchill said so - it was just too little too late, and nobody trusted his judgement anymore...including a lot of Brit pols who were just as appeasement minded as he was before and used him as a scapegoat to put the spotlight elsewhere.

Here's the skinny.Bush is doing an `Iraq the Model' thing again, only this time with the Pals, and spending half a billion smackeroos to do it. It's doomed to failure. The Pals are incapable of a state onth eWest bank and Gaza fo ra whole lot of reasons. Plus, Abbas is way too weak to survive on his own, and most Pals distrust Fatah, who have behaved more like mafia dons than real leaders.

Most Pals want to see Fatah and Hamas back in bed together again, so they can fight the Jews. And the other Arabs don't want Hamas isolated, which is why Saudi Arabia and Iran are sponsoring talks between them right now. They will likely be successful, and you know where all that money will go.

Another thing Bush did that I thought was a huge mistake was to conditionally endorse the Saudi Plan, but he talked about it as `a good first step'.The Arabs, particularly the Saudis won't buy that,because it's in their interest to keep the Arab-israeli conflict going. The Saudis gave Israel an ultimatum, and it's not subject to modification. Either the Jews go back to the pre `67 borders and commit national suicide by swamping Israel with `refugees' or face war.

WM: Didn't you tell me the Saudis already told Bush they wouldn't attend that conference he has planned?

FF: Them and our `ally' Egypt.

WM: So if this is so screwed up,why are the Israelis going along with it?

FF: Well, they're being pressured, and the weak Olmert government being what it is, they're dealing. That's why they released all those Fatah terorists and why they are going to keep giving Abbas concessions and money. They'll find out how silly that is when Fatah and Hamas unite against Israel again. Very appropriate that this stuff takes place a couple of days before the Ninth.

WM: The Ninth?

FF: The Ninth of Av, Monkey. It's a traditional day of mourning when Jews lament the destruction of the Beit Hamikdosh,the Holy Temple in Jerusalem by the Romans. It tends to be a day in history when a lot of bad things have happened to the Jewish people.

WM:Ummm...FF...about the guys Abbas was talking about....did the Palestinians really deliberately shoot that baby, FF? I mean...

FF: Yes Monkey. And the guy who did that is one of the people Abbas wants released. To me, that says it all right there.

WM: And they call me and my monkeys animals...hard for me to process somebody doing something like that. Sorry, FF.

Hey, to change the subject, you got any Harry Potter predictions?

FF: Oh yeah! Snape, Voldemort, Neville, maybe Fred and George, Draco and Lucius Malfoy and probably Percy Weasely take a dirt nap, or at least get badly messed up. Harry remains the Boy-Who-Lived,wins out and rides off into the sunset with Ginny slung lenghthwise across his broom.

Pettigew and Snape help Harry,and Neville figures prominantly in the war before he gets offed. Dumbledore's dead, but his ghost,or his portrait still is there to assist Harry. The whole thang with Snape killing Dumbledore was a setup..that's why Dumbledore was begging Snape to go through with it.

Harry finds the Horcuxes, but at some point he gets a chance to go a different way and get incredible power or reward of some sort and give up the mission. Needless to say, our Boy does the Right Thing.

WM: Hey you're a real fan! You realize that you just said a whole buncha stuff that sounded like a baboon on crack to me? Why is this stuff so popular?

FF: Sorry, Monkey. Yeah, I am a fan. I think it's a methaphor, in some ways, for the struggle we're engaged in now. So was `Lord Of The Rings.' My pals Bookworm and Soccer Dad had whole pieces on that this week..but you really would have to read the books to understand.

WM: Hoo! I don't have unlimited leisure time like you bloggers!

FF: Speaking of which, let's wish everybody Happy Weekend...

WM: Happy Weekend Primates! Don't forget to vote...it takes a Monkey! Have a good one, FF!

FF: Take care Monkey! And the rest of you, be good to yourselves...you deserve it.

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