Thursday, November 01, 2007

An Exclusive Conversation With Weekend Monkey

FF: Welcome back, Weekend's it going

WM: Not bad,all things considered FF.

FF: What made you decide to quit the campaign? I thought you were doing fairly well.

WM: In terms of rallies and popular support, we were doing fine. But without the big donors, we couldn't advertise, and the dinosaur media essentially put me on ice...we got hardly any coverage.

FF: Why wouldn't the media cover you?

WM: You have to ask, FF? They're mostly shilling for Hillary, or Obama yo' mama. And to be honest, since I wasn't even allowed to participate in the debates, I stayed underground.

FF: Yeah, that happened to Mike Gravel in the last Dem debate.

WM: They can all bite the rotten banana as far as I'm concerned. Believe me, the stuff I learned about the zoo that is American politics would make your toenails fall off.

FF: Tell me, honestly.. did that business with Sue Ki Yung's allegations about your illegitimate love child have anything to do with your decision to drop out of the race? In the words of Howlin' Wolf, was you in there?

WM: You too, FF? When did you morph into the National Enquirer?

FF: Now look, Monkey, I'm just asking, my readers...

WM: I can't talk about it, OK? My lawyers told me I can't.

FF: At the press conference, you said you never...

WM: Look, what part of `I can't talk about it' can't you understand? @##@@#!!

FF: Sorr-eee! But don't forget, I warned you to keep your nose and every other part of you clean while you were campaigning.

WM: When this is over, when the truth comes out, it will be a major story, that's all I gotta say.

FF: Fair enough, Monkey. So, what happened to the staff?

WM: Well, Lydia Hooker went back to New York to continue her business career, Biebersnatch went back to Jersey and is now in a management position with the fine folks at Carrow's and Terwilliger will be continuing his Peace and Justice studies as soon as he completes his community service. Linda Gruppstein is staying on as my personal assistant.

FF: Hmmmm..`personal assistant', huh? Ri-ight.

WM: Give it a rest, FF.

FF: I'm just messing with you, Monkey. So, what are your plans?

WM: Well, I dunno....I hadn't really thought too much about it.

FF: You know, you still have a lot of fans here, Monkey. And as we both know, your political analysis is pretty shrewd, and now, with your recent campaign you have the creds to back it up. Why don't you come back to JoshaPundit to provide our readers with the inside scoop on Campaign `08? You could hang out on the campaign trail, go to the conventions and provide Joshua's Army members with your unique slant on things. Plus, it would give you a platform to get revenge on your political enemies.

WM: You know...I think I'd like that, FF. And who knows, if it works out, maybe CBS'll hire me as an anchor after they boot Katy Couric out the door!

FF: That's the Weekend Monkey spirit! Climb to the top of the tree!

WM: WHOOO! I feel it, FF!

FF: Welcome back, Monkey. Now get to work, dammit. There are political animals to be skewered.


Anonymous said...

WM: In terms of rallies and popular support,

my fat white butt has popular support also but you won't see it on any ballot.
and as far as that "love child" thing goes, that's a bunch of malarky. the big "so called" truth that babboon boy keeps alluding to, is that chimpy has been shooting blanks for years and is just milking this story as some sort of mystery to prop-up(no pun) what he thinks is his manhood.
ff has a new gig on friday's that is informative and interesting, and even though it can be out of sorts with the theme of this blog, it is HIS blog, and we have better things to do that to look at monkey boy during the sabbath!!!!!
for as long as i have been coming to J/P, i can't understand it when FF calls that chimp "his close personal friend".

Freedom Fighter said...

It's because everybody has something to hide but me and my Monkey.


ps: Don't worry, Louie. Monkey will probably do his color commentary on politics at different times, rather than the old Friday PM sign off.

As full of rage as he is right now at various political figures, I want to take advantage of it.

I'll let Weekend Monkey know you said hello.