Thursday, November 29, 2012

Exciting Temporary Job Offer!!

I have just been informed of an upcoming temporary job offer that may interest some of my readers.

During the upcoming fiscal cliff negotiations, President Obama will not be in Washington talking to the grubby politicians on Capitol Hill. Instead, he'll be in Hawaii, enjoying a 20 day vacation that will cost taxpayers an estimated $4 million plus.

But the taxpayer's bad news could be your good news, because there are 10 openings I've been made aware of for part time temporary 'domestic special assistants'.

The duties consist of assisting the Obamas and their special guests in what are called 'standard domestic specialties'. Special consideration is given for demonstrated experience in dishwashing, ironing, laundering, shoe polishing, fetching and carrying, experience in the hotel or service industry,nanny or valet services or similar experience.

All successful applicants will be expected to pass a one-day course called 'proper Presidential etiquette and address'. According to the materials I've seen, the course consists of a lot of common sense items like how to bow and curtsey properly, not to speak to the president or especially Mrs. Obama unless you're directly addressed, not turning your back on any of the Obamas as you exit a room, rules on discretion, whom you serve first at the table, that sort of thing. A cheerful, willing and obliging disposition is an absolute must.

The job is classified as temporary part time, so there are no benefits, but the White House doctors and nurses will be in attendance to take care of any minor kitchen mishaps and such. Room and board is also provided. You won't actually be living with the Obamas of course, but in a dormitory-type set up known as 'The Quarters' which I'm sure is quite comfortable and is in close proximity, connected via buzzer and intercom.

I'm also informed that while these jobs are temporary, those who perform diligently have a splendid opportunity to receive references and preferences for full time positions working either for the First Lady, the President, or various czars and White House functionaries as similar positions open up.

You can apply at White House.Gov...but remember, all references will be thoroughly checked (no Republicans or those whom have ever voted Republican need apply).

As First Lady Michelle once said, there's no need to worry about grubby private enterprise when you have a chance to go into public service. Hurry!

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