Weekend Monkey's `The Real Banana' 11/15/06

Hey ho, primates....whaddup?





Boy, is the Freedom Fighter's face red! As you know by now, Weekend Monkey kicked tushie in our little election bet. FF knows a lot about jihad and world affairs, but trust a monkey when it comes to predicting how you primates are gonna act out..I got every Senate race right and the House.

Speaking of FF, I have to admit, he sounded quasi-impressive on Wideawakes Radio last Friday..at least the part I was coherant enough to hear. From what he tells me, the station promised him a copy of the broadcast. If they come through with it, I'll let you know so that any of you who missed it or would like a replay can e-mail me and get a copy.

Lessee what the primates are up to...








ooh, looky here!

• OJ Simpson has resurfaced, looks like. Now he's enthralling his many fans with how he would have committed the double murder he was acquitted of...that is if he'd done it!He has a book AND a Fox (where else?) interview planned:
  

"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

I've got to tell you, this is a new frontier, when a guy who was acquitted for murder in a trial where lotsa primates still think he's guilty can go on nationwide TV and tell the world how he would have maybe done it smarter and cleaner to really get away with it..wooh!

Talk about your must-see TV! I gotta talk to my pals in H'Wood and see if maybe I can get a Real Banana interview with OJ...maybe we could do golf or something.

• Now here's a real story..talk about starting young...check out this one! Out in Largo, Florida at the local Walmart, some 7 or 8 year old little girl pulled a 10" knife on a clerk when he got in her face for trying to steal two boxes of Lego toy blocks. She then left on her bicycle.

Can you imagine what she'll be like in a few years when she's dating?? Yikes!

• Stupid Crooks Department: You primates crack me up! Here we got a story about a wanna be kidnapper who accidentally shot himself in the nads! Like, the guy was in the middle of a kidnapping and stuck his gun back into his waistband gangsta style when it fired, and took out his left testicle....and then the shooter fired again when the retard bent over from the pain of the nutshot and hit himself in the leg...way to go, Buffalo Bill!

ouch, that hurts!

• And speaking of le stoopid...I knew most Eurotrash were borkooo lazy, but this is too much. How `bout a French break and enter burglar who got away with the TV, then realized he forgot the remote , so he went back for it, while the homeowner was making the police report - and got caught redhanded!

Here's what ff would call the money quote, from the local cops: "He came back to take the remote control..I guess there's daring and there's stupid."

You can't make this stuff up, lemme tell ya.

Ok, Primates, that's it for this week Real Banana. FYI, I've been interviewing the intern candidates in depth, and I should be able to anounce a winner pretty soon. As always, send all communications, offers, free stuff, requests for paid personal appearences and university lectures and news tips to : WendMonkey@Yahoo.com