Weekend Monkey And Rob's Election Predictions

 

The election is tomorrow, so I decided to bring former 2008 Democrat presidential candidate and very accurate election handicapper Weekend Monkey to the site to hear what he has to say since he's been right much of the time. 

 Rob: Well Weekend, nice to see you again! 

 WM: Yeah, it's been awhile.

 Rob: Last time we spoke, you told me this was too close to call and you weren't taking any election bets this time.

WM: Well, that's changed...There are still lots of weird elements this time on this one... but I've got enough data to make a prediction.Simple math

Rob: OK, shoot. 

WM: Well first we need to think about the odd elements this time. A lot is going to depend on whose counting those mail in ballots. There's already been a lot of voter fraud discovered. But I think that aside from some very Blue states...

Rob: California, NY, Illinois, or maybe I should just say Chicago...

WM: Yeah. But I'd add a few more...Washington, maybe Nevada or Colorado, Minnesota's a possible. And Detroit and Philly will certainly have voter fraud. The Dems are serious...they want Trump gone, and they want to take over. 

Rob: OK, it's a given the Dems will cheat. It depends on how much and where. It's also obvious they're going to go nuts a turn their Antifa and BLM Brown Shirts loose if they lose, and the turmoil will probably go on for weeks..and another element is the possibility of unfaithful electors...they have a lotof money and some of these people might be easily bought.

WM: That's another thing I've considered. For those of you who don't know what Rob's talking about, every state in the union has 'electors' who are sworn to certain Presidential candidates, depending on who wins the state's votes. They're supposed to vote for the winning candidate in their state. If they don't they're called 'unfaithful electors.'

Rob: OK, so who wins?

WM: If this was a totally up and up election, I'd have to say Trump. Since it's not, there are several ways this could go. 

I see Trump carrying the following states - Iowa, Florida, Ohio, Texas, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Georgia, Arkansas, Louisiana, South Carolina, Mississippi, and Alabama with Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin as probables. Maybe Minnesota.He'll also likely take West Virginia, Kentucky, Idaho, Utah, the Dakotas, Nebraska and Kansas, and Alaska. That adds up  to 261. If Trump wins Minnesota, North Carolina or Pennsylvania, he wins. He only needs one.

Biden will almost certainly carry the West Coast. He'll likely carry New Mexico and has a shot at Colorado and Nevada, 15 more votes if he gets them. He'll take Illinois and Virginia, as well as New York, New Jersey, Delaware and Maryland. He'll also take New England, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island and Maine and Vermont and Hawaii.. That gives Biden 235 electoral votes. He also has a chance at North Carolina and  Minnesota, which would give him 10 votes from Minnesota and 15 votes from North Carolina. That would bring Biden to 260. If he takes Colorado (9 votes) and  Nevada (6 votes) it puts him over. Biden's problem is that both North Carolina and Minnesota are iffy for him, and so is Nevada. And without every state listed above, he loses.

I would say the odds are with Trump unless major shenanigans take place. Especially since the news is being spread about Biden's grifting and corruption over the years, I think he's assumed an  odd smell to a lot of the voters. And Kamala Harris isn't helping him much at all. She 's become more and more open about her far left views. And her and Bidens 'Green New Deal' is going to wreck America's energy industry and lead to outrageous tax increases as well as a lot of lost jobs, and I don't see people going for it. Plus even with the media basically campaigning for him, I think a lot of people don't trust him.  And his mouth and his past has definitely alienated a decent chunk of the black and Hispanic vote.

Rob: I think Trump could easily wind up with 30% of the Black vote. and a large chunk of the Latino vote, simply because they see that his policies have directly helped them and their communities.

So you don't see Biden getting North Carolina?

WM: Hard to tell but  I see it as an uphill climb for Biden. Biden still might win, but I think the odds are with Trump...

Rob: Well, we'll see, Monkey. Until next time. By the way, were you surprised that your old flame Elizabeth Warren didn't get on the ticket?

WM: After the way she treated me? I wouldn't care if Biden made her coffee girl and office trash picker upper.

Rob: Ah, the ups and downs of love!

 

Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008

Rob Miller writes for Joshuapundit. His articles have appeared in The Jerusalem Post, The Washington Examiner, American Thinker, The Los Angeles Times, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The San Francisco Chronicle, Real Clear Politics, The Times Of Israel, Breitbart.Com, Yediot and other publications.

 

The Return! Weekend Monkey And The Real Banana Analyzes The Midterms

It's with great pleasure (I think) that I welcome back Weekend Monkey to these pages, Joshuapundit's own political guru.

R: Hello Monkey, It's good to have you back.

WM: Wish I could say the same...no offense but y'know this represents a huge pay cut for me.

R: Your gratitude overwhelms me. Look at it this way, now you're your own man..uh..monkey instead of living off the taxpayers.

WM: Baboon poop! I loved living off the taxpayers! I had my own office, my own intern..

R: Look, I'm sorry that gig as Elizabeth Warren's senior adviser didn't last. What happened, anyway?

WM: I don't wanna discuss it.

R: Monkey, c'mon. You owe your fans a true account after the long absence..

WM: Awright already! Look, that #@@#! pep talk I gave her before that big speech at the convention when Elizabeth Warren  opened for Clinton changed things around, y'know? It was a prime spot, she hit a real home run and the next thing you know she's a senator. And I was working my tail off for her too, hitting the college campuses, manning the phone banks. And we were, y'know, friends.

R: Close friends.

WM: Yeah, reee-al close. So she made me her special adviser, we're in DC and I'm picking out the decor for my office. And then, well....

R: What happened, Monkey?

WM: It just got really stressful. DC is a dirty little town, and before you know it she hired some high powered schmucks as staffers who were bitching about me being there...and it got worse as she started getting all that attention as a Shrillery alternative.She's just not the same person she was.

R: And you slipped back into your old habits again.

WM: Whadda'ya mean, old habits!!

R: Don't even, Monkey, there are lots of pictures from that drunken rampage at the Capitol Lounge:



Looks like you were mixing Bushmills and banana extract again. And there was  that poor waitress you groped and had your paws all over when the bouncer was 'escorting' you out the door.I hear that Warren's office had to pay out a couple grand so she didn't press charges and get it in the papers.From what I've been told, it wasn't the first time either.

WM: OK, so I was STRESSED, awright? I could tell stories about a coupla places you've been tossed out of.

R: Well yeah, but not as a senatorial aide.And not for referring to my boss as a..what was it you called her again?

WM: Never mind. I was pretty out of it. Anyway, I got the axe.

R: You mean, the tomahawk, hah hah hah!

WM: Lay off...you think of that one all by yourself?

R: Confession is good for the soul, Monkey. It means you can start fresh. You won't need to go back into rehab again.

WM: Nah, although I gotta admit you meet interesting people there.

R: So let's get down to politics. Do you really see Elizabeth Warren as a Hillary alternative?

WM: Maybe. You see, Shrillery is really one of the easiest people in the world to dislike. She had good approval ratings because she was out of the spotlight. The Bamster pretty much had her as a messenger girl, all the important stuff had special envoys taking care of it.And then, there's Benghazi. Even the knee-pad scribblers aren't gonna be able to get her past that one.

R: Well, we'll see. I still see her getting the nomination and running. And the Progtards? Who else are they going to vote for, a Republican? Actually, I see the Dems teaming her up with a Hispanic male or maybe a real Lefty like Warren as a sop to the base.

WM: I wouldn't even speculate this far out.

R: That's for sure. So let's talk about what staring us in the face, the Midterms.

WM: Okey dokes. Look, it's pretty obvious my Democrats are going to lose some senate seats. The way I see it, that's mostly Harry Reid's fault.

R: Really!

WM: Yeah. Y'see, He came up with the bright idea of having a buncha Democrats run to the center in 2008 in Red states to convince the local primates that they were conservative Democrats.Of course, once they got to DC Reid leaned on them to vote for all of Obama's policies including ObamaCare and the mask was off, so now with Obammy really unpopular they have to go home and face the rage of the primates. The big question is how many seats, and I think it's gonna be tighter than a lotta people realize.

R: How do you see the key races turning out? Let's go over 'em.

WM: OK, but I gotta tell you, I might change my mind on some of them before Election Day and change the odds.

R: You still booking election bets?

WM: Yeah, 3 points for the vig. OK, the races. I think we can pretty much give the ReThugs West Virginia, South Dakota  and Montana. They're all Red States where the Democrat incumbents fled rather than face the primate's wrath and they all have strong and well known ReThug candidates running against jerk offs. That puts the Rethugs half way there to winning the senate.

I see them also hanging on to Georgia.  Sonny Perdue has run a decent campaign, and let's face it..Michelle Nunn ain't exactly a Jawjuh Peech...she was raised in DC, and it shows every time she opens her yap. The fake drawl ain't cutting it.

R: And then there's that voter fraud scandal her campaign's been implicated in.

WM: Eh! So people were voting a little early and often. That's the Democrat tradition. But anyway, I see that as a ReThug hold. I'll offer 5 to 1  on Nunn.

North Carolina, I'm gonna call for Kay Hagen as a Democrat hold, 3 to 1 with 6 to 3 on Tillis. He made the same stupid mistake Romney did, allowing Hagen to demonize him and fix a negative image of him in the primate's minds.

R: You know the polls show him gaining, even tied with her..

WM: That was one stoo-pid poll. But he could be moving ahead, so I may reassess that one later.

Arkansas and Louisiana will probably go Rethug, but I'm a lot surer about Arkansas than I am about Louisiana. Obammy is biblically unpopular in Arkansas and Tom Cotton has a decent lead over Mark Pryor, who's way too tied to Obammy. 3 to 1 on Cotton winning.

In Gumboville things are a lot more volatile.For one thing, they have that weird open primary November 4 and then a runoff if nobody gets 50%. Mary Landrieu's running unopposed as a Dem but there are two Rethugs battling it out. Landrieu has been around, and she knows how to take advantage of that kind of situation, so anything could happen. I 'm not offering any odds on that one, although the polling indicates that IF Bill Cassidy  is the nominee he would probably beat Landrieu. We'll see.

R: Iowa and Colorado?

WM: Iowa and Colorado both ought to be  good opportunities for pickups for the Repugs, but I wouldn't write 'em off for a real surprise. .Iowa is another open seat where Dem Tom Harkin retired, and Joni Ernst has done a pretty good job kicking around Democrat Bruce Braley, but it's still close..and I definitely don't see Colorado as low hanging fruit for the rethugs..

R: I loved her ad about being a hog castrator.

WM: Hee hee hee, yeah!

R: And what this stuff about Colorado, Monkey? Correy Gardner's ahead in all the polls and even the Denver Post trashed Mark Udall and endorsed Gardner. And they're not exactly a Republican paper...

WM: Ah hah hah hah! Have you seen Colorado's election law, the one the my Democrats shoved through in 2013 and got the Dem governor, Hickenlooper to sign?

R: No, talk to me.

WM: Heh! You're gonna love this one. First it abolishes the usual polling place and lets the primates mail in ballots. And it allows same day registration without any kind of ID...in other, words, you can go in and register as, say, somebody you know who moved away and you're in, badda bing!

R: That's insane.

WM: Hee hee, it's get's even better. If somebody  register  online a few days before, no primate even needs to show up to register or vote. You don't even have to be in Colorado! You just siddown at the computer and create yourself  a voter and you get your ballot. ​And once that ballot is cast, the same day registration votes aren't kept separate, they're mixed in with the others and there's no way to separate 'em out if they find out later the ballot or the voter was bogus. The vote just gets counted. Other states with same day keep those votes separate until they verify they're legit, but not Colorado!

But wait, there's more. The law stopped  county clerks from reviewing new voter registrations like they used to, and since  every Colorado voter on the rolls has to receive a mail ballot, ballots are gonna be mailed  to everybody! Convicted felons, people who don't ever vote, primates with Alzheimer's,  primates who don't live in Colorado any more...oh and did I mention  the law makes it way difficult if not impossible to remove names from the voting rolls? Or that ACORN types called  “ballot harvesters” are allowed to go door-to-door and collect ballots with no oversight ..and  they get  paid based on the number of ballots they collect! How many Gardner votes you wanna bet get tossed in the garbage?

R: It's voter fraud heaven.

WM: You got it! Unless Gardner gets real lucky and wins by a real big margin, he's toast, no matter how unpopular Udall is.

R: Don't you feel bad about that kind of fraud?

WM: Nope.If the ReThugs wanna remain the stupid party, that's their problem.

R: Ummphh..let's move on.

WM: OK, what's left..Alaska and Kansas.  OK, I'll give the repugs Alaska. Begich screwed up big time with his campaign and that bogus ad, and I see Sullivan taking it 5-2. Although I'll take anybody's shekels who wants  to bet on Begich at 5 to 1 against.

Kansas is too close to call, which may mean the Dems -.and let's be honest, Orman's one of us, a Dem- have to see what they can do in Kansas City about putting together a little something to put him over the line.

R: More voter fraud.

WM: Hee hee, yup yup yup! So to sum it all up, I see the rethugs picking up 5 seats for sure, with possible shots at Iowa and Louisiana.. and  maybe Colorado if they're really.lucky.

Kansas is too close to call. yet, but if it goes Dem, the rethugs gotta pick up two out of those three 'maybe' seats, and I don't see 'em doing it. So we're maybe looking at a 50-50 senate.

R: That's awful.The worse thing is that your track record on predicting this stuff is too good to ignore

WM: That's politics. Look, one thing about we Democrats is that we understand that the game is all about power, and that means getting elected. You climb to the top of the tree  however you gotta do it,and the rest follows naturally.

R: OK, but a fifty fifty senate means...



WM: Yeah, we'll be seeing and hearing a lot of this guy..comedy gold!

R: I still remember when you interviewed John Edwards back in 2008 and said Obama would pick 'a heavyweight like Biden...for gravitas' as his running mate. I thought both of you were going to pass out from laughing. Except the joke's on the country.

WM: That's for sure.

R: And with that Weekend Monkey, Plus tard... we'll check back in with you soon for more state of the art commentary on the campaign from America's number one party animal.

WM: Always a pleasure.


 Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008 and is JoshuaPundit's political Guru.

Forum: Handicapping The 2012 Senate Races With Weekend Monkey

Every week on Monday morning , the Council and invited guests weigh in at the Watcher's Forum, short takes on a major issue of the day. This week, we have a special edition featuring 2008 Democratic Presidential candidate and well known political guru Weekend Monkey to tackle this week's question: What will be the final results of the 2012 Senate Elections?

WM: Hideyho, Primates!

RM: Hello Monkey, and thanks for joining us.So, it's 30 days out. Let's do some handicapping for the 2012 Senate races.

WM:Ummm Hmmm!

RM: By the way, in passing I want you to know we got really mixed feedback on your interview with Elizabeth Warren,Some people felt it was too personal.

WM: So what? They can bite the rotten banana.

RM: Exactly what I expected you to say. So, let's start there..does she win?

WM: Lemme tell ya Rob. The word here is 'coattails'. That applies to a lot of the more interesting races. If Romney the Robot wins, he's going to drag a few ReThugs with him. If Jug Ears takes it, some of my Democrats are gonna be sitting pretty in the Senate.

RM: You know Obama's going to take Massachusetts,

WM: Yeah, yeah, but by how much? That's the question. If Romney gets a decent showing downstate, it might be enough to put Scott Brown over. If not, my pal Elizabeth Warren is going to be the next Senator from Mass.

RM: Numbers?

WM: 8 to 5, Warren, just because it is Massachusetts. If any of you primates out there want to lay on Warren straight up against a house bet of Brown plus 3, I'll gladly take your hard earned shekels.

RM: Which races do you see a real coattails races.

WM: A lot of 'em,but these four, Ohio, Wisconsin, Virginia and believe it or not, Connecticut especially so.In Ohio, you got incumbent Sherrod Brown against Josh Mandel, Tammy Baldwin against ex-Rethug governor Tommy Thompson in Wisconsin, George Allen, Mr. Macaca against ex-DNC primate Tim Kaine in VA and in Connecticut, ex-WWF babe Linda McMahon against Rep. Chris Murphy. Those races are all effectively tied, and will probably go whichever primate takes the state in the presidential smackdown.

RM: Predictions?

WM: Obama will take Connecticut, but the question is by how much. McMahon ran before and people know her statewide, whereas a lot of CT primates never heard of Chris Murphy before. Also, she's got plenty of moolah. I wouldn't be surprised to see McMahon body slam Murphy and make this a ReThug pickup, but not if Obama wins in a blow out. I'd call it maybe 3-5, McMahon.

Ohio is anybody's call. Josh Mandell is a wingnut ex-serviceman aside from being Jewish, and Brown is an incumbent who pretty much swings on the same branch with Obama. I mean, it Obama made a right turn without signalling, Sherrod Brown would be wearing a neck brace, hee hee hee!

At one point, Brown was like, ten points ahead but things are all tied up and I'm hearing disturbing things about vastly decreased Democrat voter registration in our strongholds like Cleveland. I'm gonna wait and see if this trend continues before I put any shekels on it, believe me!

RM: Virginia?

WM: Another one that's too close to call. I'd give a slight edge - very slight - to Macacca Man, because he was a senator before and because it's Virginia, but if Obama takes the state, Tim Kaine will be the next Senator.

RM: There's a big scandal brewing in Virginia about the failure to get military ballots out on time.

WM: Same like in 2010. We Democrats are nothing if not consistent.

RM: Doesn't that bother you?

WM: Hee hee, you wing nuts! I keep tellin' yah it doesn't have to make moral sense or common sense as long as it makes political sense...

RM: There's the political animal I know so well.

WM: You betcha! Okay, Wisconsin. Now, I grant you, Tammy Baldwin is a creature of Dane County and as red as they come, but she's slightly ahead. Because Tommy Thompson, who the ReThugs were begging to run finally agreed, but he's coming across as a tired old geezer. I mean, he's over 70 and it was over twenty years ago since he last won a statewide race. I hear they have a handler whose only gig is to poke him with a stick now and then when they see the cameras on him so he looks a little lively.

RM: That's cruel, Monkey.

WM: Hey, I call's em like I sees 'em Rob. OK, OK, he's not quite that out of it, but he's still coming across like a blast from the past. The only way I see him winning is if somebody slips Viagra in his coffee or if Paul Ryan helps Romney the Robot take the Badger State decisively. I'll call it for Baldwin right now, but that could change.

RM: Let's move on to three more hotly contested races, Nevada, Florida and Missouri.

WM: I see the ReThugs hanging on to John Ensign's Nevada seat. Dean Heller already has the job, he's not making any stupid mistakes, Shelly Berkley has some ethics violations hanging over her head and the Vegas Review-Journal just endorsed Romney. 5-3 Heller unless Obama blows out the state.

In Florida, Connie Mack is running an average of 4 points behind Democrat incumbent Bill Nelson, but that race has tightened up since the Empty Chair debate, so it's too close to call. I think Romney the Robot has a decent chance to take Florida, but it'll be close, and I can't say whether it'll be enough to push Mack over the top. With the polls tightening up, maybe. Too close to call.

RM: Missouri?

WM Hee hee! The primates in Missou have a real choice! Who do they vote for, a Dem who's ethics challenged, votes with Obama and used a state plane for personal trips she charged to the state, or a giddy lil' ReThug redneck with  his foot constantly in his mouth! Ah hee hee hee hee! I betcha if they had a none of the above choice, that would be their next senator..

RM: This reminds me a Pat Caddell's thing about the corrupt party and the stupid party. Maybe you should have run. It's like North Carolina, I told you you could have been the Democrat nominee instead of Alvin Greene...

WM: Eh! Too late now, Anyway, I think the corrupt party wins this one, if nothing else because it's gonna be close enough that McCaskill's connections with the St. Louis machine could put her over. But anything could happen. Remember, this is the state that actually voted a dead guy into the senate.

RM: Yeah, I remember that. Akin has shown surprising resilience, but he's still down in the polls, so you may be right. Just to wind it up, your overall call for the senate?

WM: I wouldn't be at all surprised to see it split, with whoever the VP is spending a lot of time tie breaking. I think that's where we're headed.Or maybe 49-50, Democrats. Thanks,Mr.Akin! Of course, if Romney wins big, you could see the Rethugs mark their territory in the senate again.Thirty days out it's pretty tough to make an accurate call.

RM: We'll get together and take another look closer to the finish line.By the way, you still booking election bets?

WM: With two percent vig to the house, a lot cheaper than InTrade. Hey,in my neighborhood,bananas don't grow on trees, y'know! By Rob. Smell yah later, Primates...

RM: See you around,Weekend Monkey.

Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008 and is JoshuaPundit's political Guru. He can be reached at wendmonkey@yahoo.com

Make sure to tune in every Monday for the Watcher’s Forum. And remember, every Wednesday, the Council has its weekly contest with the members nominating two posts each, one written by themselves and one written by someone from outside the group for consideration by the whole Council. The votes are cast by the Council, and the results are posted on Friday morning.
It’s a weekly magazine of some of the best stuff written in the blogosphere, and you won’t want to miss it.

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Weekend Monkey's Real Banana - An Exclusive Interview With Elizabeth Warren

Hideyho, primates! I'm here live at the Democrats national convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, and have I got a treat for you...an interview with none other than my old Pal Elizabeth Warren, the next Senator from the state of Massachusetts!

EW: Hello Monkey! I remember you trolling students for votes at Harvard...and the after party! No primate left behind! We sure drank a lot that night ( giggles).

WM: Yup! The absolute ultimate in diversity, just like I told you then. Great days, great days.So, not only are you running for the Senate in Massachusetts, but you have a star speaking role at this convention.

EW: Uh huh. Wednesday night,prime time.Introducing Bill Clinton.

WM: Ain't gonna miss it, my progressive cupcake. Just be careful never to let Bill Clinton get behind you or get you alone in a room.

EW: He pulls something out of his pants and asks me to kiss it, he's gonna think I'm Jewish instead of Native American, if you get my drift...

WM: Hee hee! That's my lil' class warrior! OK, level with me. You had that great schtick, about how nobody in America got rich by themselves, and then Obama 'borrowed' it, botched it and turned it into a ReThug rallying cry. That has to make you a little bit peeved, right?

EW: Well, no Monkey, to be honest. I mean yeah, he did kind of give the Repubs a feed line instead of being nuanced like I was, but we're both on the same end of the canoe, if you get my meaning. Besides, us Native Americans are used to having stuff stolen from us by the palefaces. I mean, look at the Pilgrims and Orville Redenbacher's popcorn.

WM: Forget about the popcorn, look at Tennessee, Alabama, North Carolina and Georgia. That Trail of Tears thing, is it really true one of your ancestors was a part of sending the Cherokees to Oklahoma?

EW: No comment on that Monkey. After all, I can't be expected to account for all my ancestors, can I?

WM: Nah, of course not. But that brings us to another subject, the controversy over your Cherokee heritage that surfaced during the Senate campaign...is it true you were listing yourself as a minority on that university directory of law professors thingy?

EW: Hey, it's just like I said..I just wanted to y'know, meet some nice people, make a few friends, maybe find someone special who, y'know, understands me, somebody to do things with after a week of grinding out Marxist dialectic on campus...nothing more than that. Is that so bad? All the Fake-A-Hontus stuff, it's all nothing but lies, all lies, Monkey! Just designed to try and prop up a corrupt, right winger Republican tool who deserves to have a tommyhawker thingey or whatchamacallit thrown at him.

WM: Actually, as I recall, he's pretty liberal and votes a lot with Democrats...

EW: NOT Liberal enough for the people of Massachusetts, Monkey..with that stupid pick up truck and those chiseled abs and boyish good looks..just sickening.I'm surprised he hasn't tried to do a strip tease in front of some of those voters!

WM: You could do that, you know.Maybe attract some of those crossover male voters..

EW: Don't think I haven't considered it.I can't believe the polls still show us neck and neck.

WM: But you're gonna win, right?

EW: I can depend on the sound judgment and the common sense of the good people of Massachusetts for that, Monkey. Remember, we're talking about the people who elected Teddy Kennedy, John Kerry and Barney Frank to office and kept them there for years!

WM: Yeah, I think you got a point there sweetums. You can always depend on Massachusetts. Sooooo...what will you say to the American people Wednesday night?

EW: (Giggles) Aw c'mon Monkey. A girl has to have some secrets.

WM: C'mon Babe, just a little preview, for my readers...

EW: OK, OK. It'll just be the usual, y'know. Aside from playing up Bill Clinton, it'll be y'know, Romney is Satan, Paul Ryan is Hitler, how they hate women, minorities, gays, that kind of thing.And maybe I'll try do a little damage control on my theme on how nobody in America got rich by themselves,kind of make up for President Obama's misstep.

WM: I think that's an outstanding idea, and I know you'll do it so well. And I have another idea, one that I think will make it go over even better.

EW: What?

WM: Honor your Native American heritage and spit in the eyes of your unworthy detractors by doing the speech in Indian dress.

EW: You think so Monkey? Really?

WM: Just try stuff this on.













EW: Whaddya think?

WM: I think it's you, Elizabeth. And it brings out those high cheekbones of yours I've always liked.Not to mention those baby blue eyes of yours.

EW: Ooh, Monkey. I always feel so much better after talking to you! Hey you know...after I finish the speech, maybe we could meet up, you know, have a few drinks, talk about old times? I could, I could umm, meet you in the bar over at the Ballantyne Hotel, I'm staying there...

WM: The Ballantyne??? Pretty fancy digs for a class warrior, don't you think?

EW: Hey the DNC is paying, OK? Even the bar tab's on expense account. But anyway, would you come, Monkey? I'd wear the buckskin, the headdress and the feathers for you..

WM: Now your talking my language, sweetcakes. Go out there, knock 'em dead and we'll have our own private powwow at the Ballantyne.

EW: Will do, Monkey!

WM: Until then my fair Indian maiden...or should I say, Senator! Thanks for dropping by.

EW: Anytime Monkey.

WM: Well there you have it primates! This is Weekend Monkey, signing off until next time..


Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008 and is JoshuaPundit's political Guru. He can be reached at wendmonkey@yahoo.com

Weekend Monkey's 'The Real Banana'..Live At The RNC Convention

Hidey ho, primates! Weekend Monkey's back and you've got him. I'll be giving you exclusive election coverage in my column until the big day, the real poop, the real banana. Including my exclusive interviews, behind the scenes convention coverage and of course, my handicapping of the winners.

Just to get this out of the way, I will not respond to questions concerning my absence from Joshuapundit. Let's just say I had some health issues to deal with. All better now.

Anyway, I'm here at the ReThug fest in Tampa. It's looks like the show is gonna go on after all as the ReThugs give Romney the Robot his coronation.

What a choice, eh? Romney the Robot or President 'Not now, I'm lining up a putt and besides it's not my fault anyway'! One of them will be your leader, primates. In spite of what anyone says, including the shills over at InTrade, I still see it as dead even.

Personally, I was hoping for a catfight between Hillery and Sarah Palin, just for the entertainment value, but I wouldn't have put any shekels on it actually happening.



The weather here in Tampa is like it always is in Florida this time of year..steamy hot, muggy and rainy, with cockroaches the size of SmartCars running around underfoot. What genius decided to hold a convention here in late August?? Yecch!

Anyway, my credentials are in order,my ticket's in my hand and I look forward to smelling the unbelievable stench of a bunch of Republicans cooped indoors at the Convention Center. And I'll be reporting on every bit of it.

There are protesters around, but the weather pretty much cut down on their numbers. I don't see any of the old anarcho- faces I saw in Denver back in '08, but then I'd be surprised if I did. Mindless protest and destruction is one thing when you're at a certain place in life, but it's not exactly a career destination. And remember, I'm not talking so much about aging Code Pink commies or the majority of OWS nerds living in mom's basement, but the real hard rockers, the ones who like smashing up things just because. I don't see too many of those here yet, but we'll see.

The convention itself will be Romney's coronation, and it'll be interesting to see what he does with it. Lardass from Joisey will be doing the keynote address if they can manage to get the crane working so they can lift him onstage, and his Sopranos style discourse ought to be fun if nothing else.

Ann Robot is supposed to give a speech about the pleasures of being Mrs. Robot, there will be a long list of governors putting in a few good words and some Mormons trying to explain to people how those guys riding around on the bicycles and knocking on people's doors at odd hours aren't up to anything evil, like casing the joint to see if anyone's home before breaking in. And on Thursday it's Marco Rubio and supposedly a surprise guest penciled in before Mitt takes the stage.

I doubt it will be Sarah Palin...the idea is to make Romney the Robot look animated, not deadski. And it ain't gonna be Bobby Jindall doing his creepy Peter Lorre imitation. Maybe some military guy. It won't be Petraeus, because he's still active duty even if he is running the CIA.

Dick Cheney, the Dark Lord has already said he's not coming, but I wouldn't rule out the thought of him giving one of his standard speeches, howling a war cry, firing a round or two in the air and then catching them in his teeth. Much as I disagree with his politics, Cheney has a certain rock star aura and style you gotta love, and he drives the Rethug primates crazier than a bunch of chimps at a banana festival, I tell ya.

Maybe somebody off the wall, like Jenna Jameson. Now that would be must see TV, hee hee hee!



Anyway, I'm off to find a bite to eat and a cold martini...uh, a soft drink, a soft drink! Sigh...##%!!%!

I'll be posting later.

Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008 and is JoshuaPundit's political Guru. He can be reached at wendmonkey@yahoo.com

New Hampshire Votes...

Well, the nation's first real primary is underway, and who better to help analyze the doings in the Granite State than Joshuapundit's own political animal, Weekend Monkey. Welcome aboard, Weekend Monkey!

WM: Howdy doody Rob, glad to be here. And hideyho to all my primate fans!

RM: What are you seeing on the ground in New Hampshire,Monkey.

WM: I still see this as a Romney win, Rob. The real questions are how high he gets up the tree and how high some of the others get on the lower branches. People like Santorum, Gingrich and Perry are hoping to do just well enough to make it to the next stop in South Carolina.

I gotta say, the poop flinging, especially from Newtie surprised me, but may be it shouldn't have.

RM: Yeah, he's always been kind of a bomb thrower. But in this case, all I think he's doing is convincing more and more voters that he isn't presidential material. But I never thought I'd see someone like Newt Gingrich using anti-capitalist rhetoric while still claiming to be 'a Reagan conservative.'

WM: What is it with the ReThugs and Reagan? He's been out office for what, thirty years now? Yet they continue going on about him like flies buzzing around an old dried up piece of chimpy poop.

RM: Don't be disrespectful, Monkey. Ronaldus Maximus was one of America's greatest presidents. He took over a country in decline and turned it around completely. And he set millions free by destroying the Soviet Empire, something no one thought was possible. He did what all presidents should strive for but most never achieve..he left the country far better off than he found it.

Anyway..I think Gingrich is plummeting, but he's going to desperately try and hang on until South Carolina. If he doesn't do well there, I think he's out of it. Same with Perry.

WM: I think you might be right about Newtie, but I have a feeling Rick Perry's gonna hang around awhile, try and outlast Gingrich and Santorum to be the anti-Romney Numero Uno.

RM: Yeah, that could work for Perry. Both Gingrich and Santorum have sketchy organizations and are underfunded. But in the end, I don't see him as winning the nomination.

WM: Hard to say at this point,but I'd agree it's an uphill climb for him.

RM: You figure Romney's going to be the nominee?

WM: You're asking me how ReThugs think? No telling. The convention isn't even until August, that's seven months away. In an election year, that's a lifetime. Anything could happen. I'll say this though. If Romney wins in South Carolina and maybe one more primary, I think most of the others will drop out. That would actually be good for the ReThugs, because they would have some breathing space to concentrate on getting ready for Obama.

RM: OK Monkey...as always, thanks for dropping by!

WM: Smell ya later primates!


Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008 and is JoshuaPundit's resident political Guru. He can be reached at wendmonkey@yahoo.com

The Showdown In Iowa....

Today in Iowa, the Republican primary season officially kicks off, and what could be more fitting than a conversation with former Democrat presidential candidate Weekend Monkey, Joshuapundit's political guru.

WM: Hideyho, primates!

RM: Well, hello Weekend Monkey, nice to have you drop by. So, what's your take on the Hawkeye cauci?

WM: It's like a freakin' garage sale, Rob. One where everybody's kind of passed by the merchandise a few times too many and figures, 'well I gotta buy something.'

RM: I take it you're not too pleased with the candidates.

WM: Well, c'mon, I'm a Democrat. But from a sheer horse race aspect, I think the ReThugs might have done a little better.

RM: Yeah, I remember you weren't too impressed. Tell me, did anyone get a shot of you wrestling with a corndog ala' Michele Bachmann when you were running in Iowa back in '08?



















WM: No way....let's just say I was shooting for a much larger target audience than a photo like that would have gotten me. Plus, she looks like she's a lot more talented at that kinda thing than me, hee hee hee hee!

OK, seriously...you gotta remember that Iowa is a weird little state to run in. There's what, only a coupla of highways in and out of the state?You meet with the primates in their living rooms and at the local Mickey D's for cryin' out loud and half the time they're people who won't even go out into the snow to vote in some dumb caucus instead of watching football or American Idol.Not unless they're really motivated.See, you're not really chasing votes, what you're really chasing is foot soldiers who will go out in the snow and dominate their local caucus.

That's why I was doing OK until I flamed out...I had all these college students shilling for me.

RM: Speaking of which, I do seem to remember a report that surfaced on you, a lamb and some Iowa State coed involved with the local Weekend Monkey for President club..

WM: I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything. No comment. Ever.

RM: Hmmm OK...back to Iowa, how would you analyze the various candidates and how they're likely to do?

WM: Well,let's deal with the marginals first, Rob. Like I said a long time ago, the race for the ReThug nomination is going to be between Romney the Robot and maybe one or two not Romneys. So far most of them have flamed out, while Romney the Robot has stuck with his programming. You had Michele Bachman right after she won the Ames Straw Poll, you had the Herman Cain clown show, you had Rick Perry, then you had Newty, who everybody knew was gonna self-destruct sooner or later.

Bachmann probably understood Iowa the best of any of them, since she's originally from here even though she had the smarts to leave. But she screwed up by simply getting involved with the wrong guys, something a lot of women can relate to I'm sure. First it was Ed Rollins, then it was that doofus she hired as campaign chair who ended up dumping her for Ron Paul. Plus, instead of keeping that corn dog in her mouth she kept putting her foot in it, hee hee! I don't see her doing too well or keeping going much longer.

RM: Yeah , even her friend Sarah Palin was saying it's probably not her time.

WM: I don't think Rick Perry ever recovered from his debate performances. He was the flavor of the month until then, and people realized he probably wouldn't do so hot against Obama in the general. He'll probably just barely manage to get into double digits.

RM: Actually, he's been doing a little better on the ground in Iowa lately.

WM: Yeah, and he might actually pick up some delegates in the South and surprise people if he manages to keep going. But Iowa? I see him happy to get into double digits.

His Newtness is going to be lucky to hang on to fourth place. Face it, even among ReThugs he's just not a likeable guy, and his stuff about how he's the prospective nominee and how he gonna start arresting and subpoenaing judges...blecchh! Plus, like I said before, the Tea Party ain't gonna wrap their arms around him, assuming they have the cranial capacity to think about it. Ol' Newty's a major DC insider, and he's been hanging around K Street in DC land so long he probably has a sandwich named after him at some of the restaurants...tongue and baloney with cheesewhiz on white bread, yeah. He'll try and hang on until South Carolina, but essentially I think he's toast. Don't be surprised if Rick Perry or Rick Santorum take a lot of votes away from him there if they're still in it.

RM: OK, that leaves Ron Paul, Mitt Romney And Rick Santorum.

WM: Don't be surprised if Ron Paul wins. That weird, nutty old geezer is almost as much of a creature of DC land as Newty, but he's done a real good job of painting himself as an outsider. Plus, his supporters are exactly the kind of dedicated know nothing chimps who will run out into the snow to muscle the caucuses. I wouldn't be surprised not only to see him win, but to see him win big. That will dissipate after Iowa when we get to the real primaries, but yeah.

RM: I had a tip from a very reliable source that he's getting money and logistical support from the Obama campaign, with the idea of him running later as a third party to split Republican votes.

WM: Yeah, I saw that. Wouldn't surprise me....it may be the only way Obama could win.

Anyway, Rick Santorum...remember, Iowa is a small state, where you can practice retail politics the way you can't in bigger states where it takes more moolah to run. You can really reach out and touch the primates if you know what I mean hee hee!

Santorum's done that, mostly because he's been willing to run himself ragged like a baboon in heat all over Iowa and because the other not Romneys have flamed out. But he doesn't have much of an organization and he isn't going to be able to run on for long without one. He has hardly anything going in New Hampshire, for example. If he does good in Iowa, he might be able to collect enough bananas to keep going, otherwise this is going to be as far up the tree as he gets.

RM: Romney?

WM: The Robot has surprised me..beep beep! He's done pretty well simply by avoiding screwing up too bad, which is a talent I kinda envy, believe me. If he takes a second or even a third place finish in Iowa, the next stop is New Hampshire, where he will probably do pretty well. But it remains to be seen how well he does in the South.

RM: That's where I figure Rick Perry or Rick Santorum might start picking up some support.

WM: Yeah, if they can get it together enough to file to be on the ballot properly! Hee hee!

RM: OK, numbers Monkey.

WM: First off, any primate that puts shekels on something like the Iowa Caucus deserves to. I'm not that stupid. But if I was and somebody was to offer me Ron Paul and say five points or Romney and six or seven, I might go for it if I'd just fallen out of a tree and forgotten I don't make book on caucuses.

I think it's gonna be Ron Paul, Romney and Santorum in that order. If you're gonna pin me down, I see Paul getting high twenties to low thirties, Romney the Robot in the mid to high twenties and Santorum in the high teen to very low twenties. Plus or minus four.

RM: OK! We'll see if you're as good at this as you were in previous years.

WM: Later Rob. Smell ya later Primates!

Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008 and is JoshuaPundit's political Guru. He can be reached at wendmonkey@yahoo.com

Weekend Monkey On Politics: The GOP's Dance Of Death

Hidey Ho, Primates! Welcome to the one and only Real Banana, your source for the real poop on politics.

Let's do it and get to it..

I have to admit,I'm getting a lot of chuckles out of watching the Rethugs pull themselves to pieces. You'd think they'd know better.

Lessee...you got Ron Paul, who I guess plays Grandpa Geezer to this crowd. He's nuttier than a jar of Planter's finest. You got Ricky Santorum, who acts like he forgot to take his ritalin or maybe has to pee, you got Crazy Eyes Bachman, who looked a lot better wrestling a corn dog back in Iowa...


















Hee hee hee, talented!

Yeah, and then we get to what they call the serious candidates.

There's Rick Perry, some kinda weird genetic match up with Reaganesque looks and Bozo the Clown's brain.

You have Captain Pizza, AKA the Herman Cain clown show who probably still doesn't know that China 's a nuclear power and who's latest line is 'we need a leader, not a reader.' Tell me with a straight face that this guy isn't looking to land a reality show gig!

Cain is the funniest guy to run for office since my old pal Alvin Greene. Maybe even funnier, because there are still a number of ReThugs who take him seriously!

So then we get to the bottom of this bunch of bananas and looky who pops up - Newt Gingrich! Now,I thought he was dead, tell you the truth but apparently he's the new hero of the Tea Party set who really hate the other guy who's left, Mitt Romney.

What's funny about him being the Tea Party flavor of the week - well maybe of the month - is that they're supposed to be outsiders who are against the Washington establishment and ol' Newt has been hanging around DC land so long that there are probably sandwiches at K Street restaurants named after him - probably a combo of tongue and baloney with cheese whiz on white bread.

You gotta give him credit. He always thrived in the fetid jungle that is DC land, even after he was out of Congress.Hey, the guy made money, consulting and shilling for hire in a big way.

Good ol' Newt brings back a whiff of the heady days of Mr. Bill,when blue dresses and knee pads were in fashion and the phrase 'have a cigar' took on a whole new meaning.

Watching a colorful character like Newt duking it out with Romney the Robot to be the ReThug's leader is gonna be great and enliven the dull lives of you primates.it'll be like a freakin' video game, hee hee!

What kills me is that this election was the GOP's to lose, what with the economy still reeking like a baboon's rear end. But the way things look now, I call it at even money that the Bamster slides in for another term what with the poop slinging and knife fighting that's gonna be going on as the ReThugs fight for the top spot.

If Newty gets the nod,there's a whole buncha stuff that can be used against him , seeing that he's been around so long and he's not pristine in the least. I mean the ads write themselves. If Romney the Robot wins out, you gotta wonder how many ReThugs are gonna sit on their hands and not vote because they can't stand him.I mean, are enough of them gonna overcome their dislike of Mittens in favor of dumping Obama? If Romney the Robot gets the pick, that'll be the question.

Smell yah later, Primates!

Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008 and is JoshuaPundit's political Guru. He can be reached at wendmonkey@yahoo.com

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Looking At The Debate... And The Return Of Weekend Monkey

Last night,the GOP had their first real debate of the 2012 campaign, and as always, I watch these things so you don't have to. Joining me today is former Democrat presidential candidate and Joshuapundit's political guru and handicappper Weekend Monkey:

WM:Good to be back, Robbo

RM: Nice to have you back, Monkey. Well, they say Labor Day kicks off the campaign season, and that definitely seems to be true this year. What were your impressions of last night's Republican debate?

WM: Dee-bate Shmee-bate. Look, I normally don't pay too much attention to what Re-Thugs say anyway, but this was just posturing,talking points and a game of 'let's see what we can do to drag down Rick Perry, the frontrunner'. it was like a buncha hyenas trying to drag down an antelope, except this time I think the antelope got away and just made most of them look stupid.

RM: Especially Ron Paul.

WM: Yeah, hee hee hee! I wonder who his embalmer is?

RM: Well, that crack will certainly get the Paulistas sending me hate mail.Speaking of which, I think Perry's crack about feeling like the piñata at the party got a decent laugh and defused a lot of the attacks, especially by Romney. I don't think Governor Perry entirely put the Gardisil issue at rest though.

WM: You mean the one where he made vaccinations mandatory by executive order for twelve-year-old girls for HPV...and the stuff was made by Merck, who just happened to be the employer of his ex-chief of staff?

RM: Yeah,that's the one alright. Sounds almost like something Obama would do, doesn't it?

WM: Spin it Rob, spin it!

RM:Well doesn't it? Anyway, I think he had part of a good answer. He mentioned the opt out for parents and the thing about cervical cancer, and he says he should have handled it differently. I would have liked it better if he would have simply said he made a mistake, mentioned th eopt-out, emphasized that when it comes to parent's rights his record shows that this was a departure, not the norm and then turned it around on Mitt Romney judo-style: "Hey, I'm willing to admit I made a mistake on Gardisil.Is Governor Romney willing to admit, in front of all of us that he made a mistake on RomneyCare?"

WM: Ooooh, pretty slick! Speaking of norms, that was pretty far above your usual.

RM: Yeah, yeah, whatever. How do you think the Social Security question was handled?

WM: OK. All jokes aside I think Perry is kinda right, that there's going to have to be some changes for it to survive. That's common sense. But remember, we're not talking about common sense here but political sense. And what makes political sense is that Obama Yo' Mama and my Democrats are gonna hammer on this with every senior between St. Pete and Palm Springs,telling them the ReThugs wanna take away their Social Security.

RM: Sleazy,don't you think? It risks the entire program going under just to create a few taking points and sound bites.

WM: Yeah, but political gold, and they'll use it.Romney was smarter, he just said it needs to be 'reformed'. He probably means the same thing Perry does, but his handlers programmed him to say 'reformed' and it likely polls better.Trust me, I know these things.

RM: So what do you think of the GOP field so far?

WM: That's two questions, really. First, who's likely to get the nomination and two,can they beat Obama.

The ReThugs are as schizoid as a baboon attacking its own reflection in a swamp.On the one hand, with this economy, any reasonable GOP candidate stands a decent chance of sending Obama Yo'Mama and his bitter half packing next November, all things being equal.On the other hand the ReThugs base is the Tea Party and they're likely to pull Perry and Romney so far right in order to get the prize that they have trouble getting back to the center in the general.

Right now, I think Perry and Romney are the only ones who are realistically competing, with Michele Bachmann as a dark horse long shot. Perry make sense as the anti-Romney, somebody who's just enough of a right-winger to appeal to the party's crazy base while being just middle of the road enough to catch the independents.They might even end up on the same ticket, depending on who wins. Party unity and all that crap.

RM: Sarah Palin?

WM: When she's in, we'll discuss her. Right now, she's not.

RM: Speaking of VP picks...

WM: Let's not even go there. Although all things being equal, Marco Rubio is probably a strong bet.

RM: To get the Latino vote, you mean.

WM: Si Señor!

RM: Latinos aren't a monolithic group you know. Rubio's Cuban, and most Cubans already vote Republican. Rubio won't mean much to Mexicans in the southwest and California, but he could definitely have an effect in Florida.

WM: As usual, you overestimate the primates. Lots of them will just see a Spanish name and pull the lever.

RM: Last point... Weekend Monkey, you're a Democrat insider. In your opinion, is Obama going to be primaried?

WM: Hee hee hee! Let me say he deserves to be.##!#%@! And I know for a fact Shrillery would love nothing better than to shiv him and cackle while she did it. But the reality is that his numbers are going to have to fall some more before she makes a move ..you know 'for the good of the party.' And she's not stupid..she saw what happened to her last time and will get commitments from the party bigwigs, the super delegates before she goes out on a limb. I also hear a lotta grumbling and howls from primates on the far Left of the tree, so it might not even be her that takes on Obama.

It absolutely kills me that Obama Yo'Mama is doing the same thing to my Democrats that Bushie boy did to the Rethugs in 2008. Talk about biting the rotten banana!

Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008 and is JoshuaPundit's political Guru. He can be contacted for speaking engagements and other interesting propositions at: wendmonkey@yahoo.com

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A New Party For New Times - Remaking The GOP

The Republican resurgence in the midterms, welcome as it was has an element of danger to it and that danger is becoming apparent as the new GOP led Congress prepares to be seated in less than a month.

It is the danger of conducting business as usual, on the same old lines. In order not to fall into that hole, the GOP is going to have to remade if it is to survive. If not, the Republicans will go the way of the Whigs and be destroyed.And it will be a fate they utterly deserve.

The recent activities of a number of Senate Republicans during the Lame Duck session are a prime example of why this is so.

In the space of a mere few days,enough GOP senators defected to allow the Obama Administration to claim wins on Don't Ask Don't Tell, a flawed tax 'compromise', a dodgy 'food safety' bill, and the rushing through of the ratification of the unfortunate START treaty with Russia that compromises our nuclear deterrent.

The problem is not that "Harry Reid has eaten our lunch" as GOP Senator Lindsay Graham said in a widely quoted public rant.It goes far deeper.

The Senators voting for these measures include the Northeast Republicans -Scott Brown, Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins and so did RINO Lisa Murkowski - but the real story is that a number of establishment Republicans from Red States like Johnny Isaakson of Georgia , Richard Burr of North Carolina, Mark Kirk of Illinois, George Voinovich of Ohio,Robert Bennett of Utah, Bob Corker and Lamar Alexander of Tennessee,and Dick Lugar of Indiana among others voted with the Democrats on measures like repealing DADT and START.

There was absolutely no reason why any of this agenda couldn't have waited until the new Congress seated January 5th, when the Republicans would have had much more leverage and bargaining power. Instead, they chose to rush things through precisely because they could - and because being members of the Ruling Class, it suited them.

I am not a party man, and I suspect that a lot of the independents that flocked to the Republican banner in this last election share that distinction with me. I see the GOP as having a core of patriotic and sensible men and women capable of bringing this country back to the principles our Founders based this great nation on, something the Democrats, especially the current party leadership unfortunately lack.

Even more important, it's already in place and it would be far less timely to change it and utilize it than it would be to create a brand new structure. But if that's going to happen and the GOP is worth preserving, some fundamental changes need to take place.

The Republicans may think that the 2010 midterms constituted a mandate. It was actually a last chance based on the fact the alternative was unacceptable, and act of faith that was very similar to the 2004 elections when the American people gave George W. Bush and the GOP an opportunity to run with the ball.

Bush and his Republican cohorts fumbled badly, and it took six years and an abysmally bad Democrat Congress and President along Sarah Palin and Jim DeMint keeping the Tea Party inside the GOP tent in order for the American people to be willing to give them another shot. If they fumble this time, I doubt the Republicans will ever be trusted again...and a new party will have to be built from scratch.

Here's what needs to happen:

The Party needs to change its orientation towards populism and end its identification with the ruling political class. Put another way, the GOP needs to point a lot more towards the Tea party and a lot less towards the Beltway.

This is much less hard than it seems as , contrary to popular belief, it is the Democrats who are the party of millionaires and special interests, thriving on large funding from the likes of people like George Soros, Goldman Sachs, Peter Lewis, the Tides Foundation, Silicon Valley, Hollywood, the trial lawyers and the public employee unions.

The Republican support comes disproportionately from farmers and businessmen, the military, the Tea Party, workers in private enterprise and industrialists involved in trade, commodities and manufacturing.

To alter it's stance, the GOP needs to be much more focused on bread and butter issues - school choice, national defense, lower taxes and regulations, smaller more efficient government, energy creation (particularly where it concerns coal, oil, and nuclear power), manufacturing and fair trade, and restructuring or in some cases eliminating the vast network of entitlements and unfunded mandates along with the vast and costly bureaucracy that services it.
Instead of backroom deals, the .new Republican Party must pledge itself to openness. In short, they must be prepared not only to stand on principle but to articulate those principles in a way that communicates itself to the electorate.

Paul Ryan's plan is a decent start in this direction.

At the same time, the Party needs to set a personal example of thrift, common sense and probity. To quote Sarah Palin, it needs approach government 'with a servant's heart'.

That last is the most difficult, as a number of Beltway Republicans have absorbed the culture of decadence that permeates Washington and identify themselves as part of the Ruling class at this point. Abandoning that mentality is not merely a matter of ideology - it goes beyond labels like 'conservative' or 'liberal' but to the core of how these people see themselves. Someone like Susan Collins of Maine keeps getting re-elected handily in a Blue state precisely because she identifies with her constituents and is personally honest and hard working. A long time Robert Bennett of Utah got voted out in the primary in a Red State where his party dominates precisely because his constituents ceased to trust him and felt he no longer represented them any more.

Some will change...and some will have change thrust upon 'em, to paraphrase Shakespeare.

The Party's political leadership needs to be replaced and its local grass roots nurtured and revitalized. The Republican National Committee,(RNC) The National Republican Congressional Committee(NRCC) and the National Republican Senate Committee (NRSC) need fresh, behind the scenes faces who are much more adept at raising funds and efficiently utilizing those funds to put together local ground games and Get Out The Vote efforts.

If those had been in place in 2010, the Republicans would probably have picked up another half dozen seats in the House and at least two more Senate seats.

Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't Hispanics who cost Sharron Angle the election, but the white vote, which she lost precisely because she had no experienced organization on the ground - whereas Harry Reid imported thousands of Democrat sturmabteilung and millions in cash for a massive GOTV push in the last few days of the campaign while Angle, running her first state-wide race, was left to stumble through trying to put together a ground game without any major support from the RNC. Not only was she outspent, but she was deprived of the kind of experienced professional party foot soldiers she needed to help her win that kind of campaign.

Instead, the RNC under the execrable 'leadership' of Michael Steele wound up spending its money on Steele's five star, self-promoting lifestyle.

That was not lost on GOP donors, and they will no longer tolerate that kind of mismanagement.

Nor will they tolerate Party giving its imprimatur to the sort of typical Republican 'establishment' type candidates it did in2010. The party will have to be a lot less hospitable, generally speaking, to the Charlie Crists and a lot more open to the Marco Rubios. Charismatic, well spoken conservatives who articulate their message usually win, as opposed to candidates who are essentially Democrat-lite.

The GOP needs to reach out much more to Hispanics and Blacks...but in the proper way.

The Republican Party is absolutely capable of picking up at least half of the Latino vote and an increasing share of the Black vote, provided they approach them honestly and stand on principle. To do that, they must take an approach diametrically opposite to the Democrats.

Both communities have a sizeable companent of exactly the sort of people who should be voting Republican, especially Latinos. Many of them are religious, family oriented, and interested in issues like education, school choice, crime, and economic prosperity for themselves and their children.

These are natural issues for conservatives to approach them on, and what it will take is candidates who can articulate precisely and directly how the Democrat's social welfare schemes have effected these communities negatively and how conservative principles would benefit them.

A Black or Latino working family concerned about crime in their neighborhoods, failing public schools, declining employment opportunities and the fact that less and less of their hard earned money ends up in their pockets and more and more of it ends up in the government's hands are a natural audience for this message.

And the natural place to deliver this messages in the churches, where many social issues like abortion and gay marriage are also likely to resonate. If I were running for Congress and I had Black and Latino constituents, that's exactly where I'd start.

An honest stance on the differences in the two parties on national defense is another wedge issue, as both communities instinctively support our military because so many of them have family members who serve. There are more Americans of Hispanic descent who have been awarded the Medal of Honor than any other ethnic group, and the Republican approach to Veteran's Affairs, military pay and benefits and national security is a winner here. I wonder, has any GOP candidate told an Hispanic audience how Barack Obama tried to take away the VA benefits from wounded vets and make them buy their own private healthcare?

Even the immigration issue is a potential winner. A lot of Hispanics readily understand, or can be made to understand that amnestia merely results in an unending flow of illegal aliens and keeps taxes high, wages low and services costly and over-extended..and that border security is a national security issue, not an immigration issue.

And has anyone in the GOP ever articulated a message on Spanish media about any of these issues? Have they attempted to reach out honestly to Blacks and Hispanics in their own communities,not to pander but make an honest appeal based on principle, self-interest and mutual success?That needs to happen, and if it's done right it will be successful.

The Republican Party stands at a crossroads. They can become the party of freedom, integrity and independence they were meant to be or they can continue along the same old road and become history.

The choice is theirs. Let's hope they make the right one.

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Weekend Monkey And The Real Banana On Politics: A Primary Challenge For Obama?

Hidey Ho, Primates! Welcome to the one and only Real Banana, your source for the real poop on politics.

Let's do it and get to it..

Barack Obama is getting it from all sides. In a few short months, not only has he succeeded in driving the ReThugs crazy, but most of the independents are screaming for his head and surprisingly, so are a lot of my Democrats.The Obama voodoo is in deep ape doodoo.

The last straw was this new deal with the ReThugs on extending the Bush tax cuts in exchange for extending unemployment benefits for those outta work primates who don't work for the government, and it seemed like a reasonable deal to me...nobody got quite what they wanted,but they got what they needed, something that happens in the political jungle all the time..or at least it used to.

But now, the deal's exploded with Pelosi and the Lame Ducks in the House taking their revenge and refusing to vote it in...and that was like an hour after Obama went to them and tried to sell them on the deal. Hey, I even heard one of them was yelling"F#@k the president"..probably one of his homies on the CBC, hee hee hee!

See, this is Obama's own fault. You don't make a deal with the ReThugs and then howl about how they're hostage takers and poison puppies in people's backyards..heck, previous presidents didn't even do that with the Russkis during the Cold War.It like, revs up the primates when you want them to be relaxed.Is it any wonder Pelosi and the troops went postal?

Not only that, but he pissed off the ReThugs. They already let him know that nothing he wants in the Lame Duckie session is gonna go through without those tax cuts, and not only was he slinging poop at them but now it looks like even if they make an agreement with him, he can't deliver his end. And remember, they're not his friends anyway.

Anyway, the big noyze is that a lotta Democrats are thinking regime change come 2012.Could it happen? And more importantly, who might try and knock Obama off the top of the tree?

Shrillery? Well, maybe. She keeps saying she has no interest in running, this is her last government job, yadda yadda. That tells me for sure that she's interested if the odds look right, and if I were Obama I'd be real careful about accepting anything to eat or drink from Shrillery. Trust me, neither she or Mister Bill have forgotten how they were hoo-milliated by Obama back in '08.

But to tell you the truth, I think that if Obama's gonna get wacked, it's gonna be someone from the Left. That's really where the Donkey's strength lies, if we're talking going after the nomination. Or to put it another way, somebody who can outflank Obama in places like Boston, Manhattan and L.A. Perrr-grressives.

But who? That, primates, is the question.

It would have to be somebody who can get George Soros' seal of approval, ideally somebody who's well known in progressive circles, somebody who can take all the factions that are now tired of Obama - the gays, the ex-Hillary babes,the pro-amnesty Latinos, the global warming crowd, the anti-war primates, and the real Lefties and mold them into a coalition.

And it would have to be somebody that could appeal to the one group that still loves Obama...Blacks. Which means the lucky primate might need to either be Black themselves or at least capable of peeling enough of them off without angering the rest so they sit on their hands in the general.And I think it's doable if you have those elements.

Maybe they could run Teddy Kennedy's corpse. Stranger stuff has happened.

Finally, in response to your many queries asking whether I'm planning to run in 2012, I want to be honest and tell you I'm currently weighing my options. 2012 could very well end up being the Year of the Monkey.

Smell yah later, Primates!

Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008 and is JoshuaPundit's political Guru. He can be contacted for speaking engagements and other interesting propositions at: wendmonkey@yahoo.com

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Live Blogging Continues...12:25 AM PST

RM: OK Monkey, last lap. So far, it looks like 58 seats for the GOP, with the rest not in yet, especially in California. By the way, the pot initiative looks like it's going down to defeat.

WM: Now that surprises me.

RM: Boxer is claiming victory in California, but Fiorina hasn't conceded yet.Washington and Colorado are still too close to call - we may even see recounts eventually.

WM: Hee hee! (yawn) We Dems are good at recounts. So anyway, whaddya think this all means?

RM: I think it's the beginning shot in taking back the country. As you said, th e two sides just got more polarized and Obama's not going to do anything to alleviate that. In a way, it's almost better that the GOP didn't take the Senate. If they and the new House members do what they were sent to DC to do - or at least make Obama veto their trying to do the right thing, they're setting themselves up for a real veto proof majority and taking back the White House in 2012.

If they screw up, it will definitely be third party time.

I also expect some major scandals to erupt in the Obama White House..maybe even bad enough to keep Obama from running in 2012.

WM: If that happens, I betcha Hillary is the hidden hand that holds the dagger...

RM: Very poetic Monkey, And as it happens, I agree with you.Any last words Monkey? Monkey? I do believe that JoshuaPundit's political guru has fallen asleep on me.Or something.

And with that, Let's close it down for the night.Thank you all for joining us.

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Live Blogging Continues...11:26PM

RM: So Monkey, right now the GOP has already made 57 pickups in the House, and they're probably going to end up with something like in the mid-60's. What do you make of that?

WM: It's not a bad night's work for the ReThugs...but what's interesting to me is how it's going to polarize Congress even more. A lotta the Blue Dogs who came in via Rahm in '06 and '08 got their asses handed to them...and a lot of what's left is exactly that, the Left of the party. Ike Skelton, Stephanie Hersath-Sandlin, Gene Taylor, Tom Periello..all gone.

And a lot of the ReThugs who are coming in like your pal Allen West, like Paul Gosar, like Renee Elmers are a lot more right wing. Same with a lot of the Senate, on both sides. Can you say g-r-i-d-l-o-c-k?

RM: Yeah , especially with Obama at the head of the circus. BTW, the California Secretary of State's website crashed, so numbers on the Cali senate race are delayed. If I were Fiorina, I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet.

WM: Hope squeaks eternal in the primate's breast..I told you before Boxer stays, I know these things.

Rm: You also knew that Mark Kirk wasn;t going to win in Illinois..

WM: Owchie! Don't remind me. That cost me some serious shekels. Any fresh numbers for us?

RM: I don't know what more we're gonna get tonight. Washington is a dead heat, with Patty Murray up 14,000 votes with 68% of the precincts in, and Ken Buck is up by about 10,000 votes in Colorado with 70% of the precincts reporting, so who knows when those will be settled?

Plus a lot of the House votes in the West still need to play out.

WM: Another Margarita?

RM: Why Not? At least you're not mixing cognac with banana extract any more these days.

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Live Blogging Continues...10:05PM

RM: Check this Monkey! Mark Kirk in Illinois and Pat Toomey in PA are projected winners!

WM: Somebody really screwed up in Chicago! And dammit, it could cost me money!Here's hoping somebody finds a box of ballots somewhere.

RM: Not only that, but Ken Buck is ahead in Colorado - by over 30,000 votes. So far, the GOP has picked up about 55 House seats, and there's more to come.

WM: I hear Sharron Angle and Carly Fiorina are toast.

RM: It looks that way, but I wouldn't bend over just yet..especially when it comes to Fiorina, although California, you know..

WM: SO it's 55 seats in the House and what, 6 Senate pickups?

RM: Yeah, but that's not counting Colorado or Washington.

WM: So I had it called right, a max of 8 seats?

RM: It looks that way, so far. But the night is still young.

WM: That's for sure!

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