Proof That Pets Look Like Their Owners....

Why yes, It's true!

What Hillary Will Look Like As President....

The Ultimate Scam - A Year's Worth Of Free Food And Drink For The Price Of An Airline Ticket

 

I have to admit, the sheer ingenuity of this tickled me.

A Chinese man successfully used a single First Class plane ticket to eat and drink for free for a year.

His strategy? Ridiculously simple....book, eat and repeat.

Once he found out that the voucher on his first class ticket entitled him to partake in the VIP amenities at China’s Xi’an Airport which included a free meal at the lounge, he simply flashed the ticket, feasted on dishes which included a full buffet and ”Western food”. And then, instead of leaving through the gate,he just re-booked his flight for the next day!

According to the newspaper, staff members from China Eastern Airlines finally realized that the itinerary for one ticket had been postponed hundreds of times. So they began to investigate.

But once our friend realized that the game was over, he simply canceled his ticket, got a full refund, and left.

The airline told the media the company had no way to stop such a “rare act.”

Nor was there really anything they could do, really. The man was a First class ticket holder, really and he was entitled to eat at the VIP lounge..and there's really no way to prove that he changed his flight over 300 times just to chow down at China Eastern Airlines' expense.

So what we have here is the perfect crime, a year's worth of free food and drink that cost nothing except the price of a First Class airplane ticket..which was cashed in for a full refund!

I'm going to have to avoid using the old cliche about there being no such thing as a free lunch.

Man Fined For Driving While Receiving Oral Sex

I swear, it's getting so everything's illegal these days!

The Ashkelon Traffic Court fined a man, 26, who was caught some three weeks ago driving while his girlfriend was performing oral sex on him, to some NIS 1,500 (roughly $424), and two-months probation.

According to the indictment, the defendant was "driving a vehicle irresponsibly while allowing the passenger near you perform oral sex while driving a main road." The girlfriend was not summoned to testify, but the defendant confessed to the allegations.

New 47-Story Luxury Beachfront Skyscraper Built..Except They Forgot One Thing...

Now, what could be nicer than having your own luxury apartment with ocean views within walking distance of the beach on Spain's ritzy Costa Blanca? The InTempo building pictured above looks perfect, doesn't it? Couldn't you just imagine it for a couple of weeks as a rental, or a nice little vacation spot?

Not only that, but you're going to get plenty of exercise, so bring comfortable shoes. Because the building was somehow constructed without a single elevator shaft!

Verdad, amigos. But wait it gets better.

The project was originally was initially funded by the bank Caixa Galicia to the tune of $122.8 million in 2005, but as of December 2012, financing was taken over by Sareb after Caixa Galicia bailed out, lending the builder an additional $14.7 million.

Believe it or not, both the builder, Olga Urbana, and the original lender Caixa Galicia should have received a wake up call when they found out (after about 23 floors had been completed) that there was no service elevator installed for the 41 workers who had been hauling materials up 23 flights of stairs. Instead, Caixa Galicia bailed out, and Olga Urbana somehow forgot to mention this little detail to Sareb - who also apparently never visited the building site before forking over all that money.

To make it even more of a fiasco, because of the way the building was designed there isn't any place for elevator shafts, which leads me to wonder what the architects were smoking when they designed it. Since InTempo is 94% completed, the only solution is to tear down some of what's been completed and make provisions for external elevators, like the ones at the Bonaventure in Los Angeles. At a significant cost increase, of course...which also includes $3.3 million owed to suppliers that hasn't been paid yet as well a few pending court cases claiming fraud.

Meanwhile 35% of the luxury apartments were already sold to people whom had no idea an elevator wasn't included. Just imagine if somebody bought the penthouse!

Provided some of these insignificant details can be ironed out, the building is currently scheduled to be finished in December.

I have my doubts.

Teens Fall In Love After Both Surgically Change Genders

Two years ago, 17-year-old Arin Andrews was a girl named Emerald....and 19-year-old Katie Hill was a boy named Luke. The two Tulsa, Oklahoma teens, who met at a transgender workshop became very close to each other. And after Katie underwent gender reassignment surgery a year ago, Arin likewise decided to take the plunge and undergo the surgery as well, getting his breasts removed.

“I hated my breasts, I always felt like they didn't belong. Now I finally feel comfortable in my own body. Now when I’m out in a public pool or lifting weights, no one raises an eyebrow. They just think I’m a guy. I can wear a tank top, which I couldn't before, and I can go swimming shirtless. I can just be a regular guy. And I’m so lucky to have my family and Katie to rely on.”

And Katie?

“To me, Arin’s just my Arin. He’s always looked manly to me. But now he’s had the surgery he’s much more confident and comfortable with himself. Being transgender myself, I understand Arin better than anybody else — how good he feels and how complete he feels.”

They're now just your average teenage couple in love:

Yeah,love always finds a way. Shakespeare would have written this one up in a heartbeat.

WATCH – Woman Distracts Man With Nude Swim While Her Husband Burglarizes House

Crossville, Tennessee, a suburb about 100 miles from Nashville was the site of an innovative crime.

A man in his fifties was approached by the 30-year-old wife of his neighbor, who asked if she could cool off in his pool.

According to police, the husband left after his wife asked him to retrieve her cigarettes.

She then asked the victim if it would bother him if she swam naked. He said no, and settled in for a ring side seat for about 20 minutes.

While he was watching the show, her husband burglarized the house, stealing a handgun, jewelry and medication.

"I went and got her a towel, she dried off and all of a sudden she was soaking wet again. I escorted her outside and invited her to church, (!!!) but she said she didn't have time for that" victim Stephen Amaral told Nashville's News 2.

(Extraneous punctuation mine)

The two suspects have been identified, but have not been located yet. Perhaps they're making the rounds of other houses with pools!

This Amazing Quiz Is Guaranteed to Predict Your Favorite Movie!

This amazing quiz can predict which of 17 movies you would enjoy the most..

I don't know how it works, but it does. Play fair, and do the math first before you look at the list:

1. Pick a number from 1-9.

2. Multiply by 3.

3. Add 3.

4. Multiply by 3 again.

5.. Now add the two digits of your answer together.

Scroll down to find your favorite movie in the list of 17 movies below and prepare to be amazed:
















The Movies

1. Gone With the Wind

2. The Sound of Music.

3. Blazing Saddles

4. Star Wars

5. Forrest Gump

6. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

7. Jaws

8. Animal House

9. The Obama Resignation Speech, on YouTube, 2014

10. Casablanca

11. Jurassic Park

12. Shrek

13. The Seven Samurai

14. Titanic

15. Raiders of the Lost Ark

16. Apocalypse Now

17. Toy Story

Coed Rescued After Getting High On Mushrooms, Stripping Naked

Ah, those devil 'shrooms!

Taylor Powers, a 21-year-old coed at the University of Colorado went hiking with two friends in Boulder County's Chautauqua Park and had to be rescued by authorities after they received a 911 call that a female hiker was “high on mushrooms and in distress” , had stripped naked and was running around loose

No less than 35 Boulder County Sheriff’s Office deputies and other assorted rescue personnel immediately responded to deal with this dangerous emergency...

Powers ended up having to be subdued and handcuffed before being placed in a rescue basket and manhandled(!) into a helicopter. No word on whether a cavity search or frisking was involved.

I'm sure the cell phone cams of those rescuers would be interesting viewing. And you have to wonder how many would have showed up if it were, say, a 75-year-old man with heart palpitations.

Powers was taken to a Boulder hospital for treatment and cited for unlawful consumption of a controlled substance.

Prostitute Pepper Sprays 14-Year-Old Boy, Steals His Piggy Bank

Young lust, sex on the internet and the toils of commerce...

A 14-year-old boy saved up his money in a jar for what he thought would be initiation into the mysteries of sex. Then he arranged a meeting with a prostitute over the 'net using his IPad.

Lo and behold, when said prostitute showed up, instead of delivering she looked at him..and after she finished laughing, she pepper sprayed the prospective 'john'. And while he was incapacitated, she stole his IPad and his money jar and left the scene.

Police later apprehended 22-year-old Dareka Brooks when they were able to track her because she stupidly used the IPad in question. Charged with one count of armed robbery, her bail was set at $10,000.

Meanwhile, the teen in question is reportedly safe..and while he 's still ignorant of sex, he's definitely been educated!

Can you imagine what it was like for him to report this to the police? Or how hard it was for the cops to keep from laughing?

China's People's Daily Mocked Over It's New, Phallic Headquarters...

The new Beijing headquarters of China's People's Daily newspaper has come in for a great deal of mockery and government censors are apparently fairly stiff and sore about it.

The People's Daily is the official government mouthpiece..or should I say, tool?

Sina Weibo, the Chinese equivalent of Twitter has reportedly been censored heavily after a range of salty tweets.

I personally don't think it's that bad.A fountain at the top would be a nice touch, perhaps. Maybe some nice trees, bushes and shrubs at the bottom?


(H/t, Long time Joshua's Army member Louie Louie)

Man Makes Deathbed Confession To A Murder..And Then Survives!!

This one is so funny I just have to put it up.

James Washington, pictured above had been suspected of murdering Joyce Goodener , who was found stabbed in the neck, beaten to death with a cinderblock and set on fire in an abandoned Nashville, Tennessee house 17 years ago.

But there was no evidence, so he was never convicted.

Washington was incarcerated for a different crime, and had a heart attack while in prison. Figuring he was about to meet his Maker, he decided to confess to a prison guard who was nearby:

'He kind of got as best as he could, motioned, and said "I have something to tell you. I have to get something off my conscience and you need to hear this,"' said transport guard James Tomlinson.

'He said "I killed somebody. I beat her to death,"' Mr Tomlinson added.

Only problem was, after ratting himself out,Washington survived.

He's been convicted, and could receive up to a 51 year sentence, which essentially means he would die in prison.

Who says G-d doesn't have a sense of humor?

A First: Organist Ejected By Umpire From Baseball Game For Playing '3 Blind Mice'

This certainly made me crack up..!

Apparently an umpire was so incensed by an organ player's musical selection after a questionable call at a Daytona Cubs game that he ejected him:

[Derek]Dye was being given the chance to run the organ music during Wednesday night’s game. There was a questionable call at first base. “Looked like our first baseman caught it, and then lost it on the transfer. So you figure the call would be out,” Dye told 94WIP’s Marc Farzetta.

So Dye thought he’d have a little fun. “I played “Three Blind Mice,” knew organ tone, no lyrics, just the organ,” he said. “And then, within about four or five seconds of the song playing, the home plate umpire looks up, yells as loud as he can, ‘you’re gone!’” The home plate umpire had tossed Dye from the game.

Man, that's touchy! I've heard of coaches, managers and of course players being tossed out of a game. Even fans being removed at times. But an organ player? Who's next, the guy selling the popcorn??

That has to be one for the record books.

UPDATE: Nope, it's not. Long time member of Joshua's Army Louie Louie informs me that this happened once before at least..and that he heard of an additional instance at Rosenblatted Stadium, home of the College World Series and the Omaha Royals in Omaha, Nebraska a couple of years ago.

Whoah..I stand humbly corrected!

Woman Hurt During Sex on Work Trip Wins Lawsuit For Worker's Comp

Gotta love this one...from our friends in Australia.

A woman who was injured during a romp in her hotel room while on a work related trip was awarded worker's compensation by a judge after it was initially denied and she sued:

In the Federal Court today Justice John Nicholas ruled that the woman was injured during her “course of employment”.

The woman’s barrister argued that sex was an “ordinary incident of life” in a hotel room, much like showering and sleeping.

The Judge ruled that “if the applicant had been injured while playing a game of cards in her motel room she would be entitled to compensation” and the fact that the woman was engaged in sexual activity rather than some other lawful recreational activity while in her hotel room does not lead to any different result.

What happened is that the girl blew into town, called up a male friend and they went out for a meal and then back to her hotel room. She filed a workers' compensation claim for 'facial and psychological injuries' she suffered when a glass light fitting came away from the wall above the bed during their activities:

The male friend said in his statement at the time that they were "going hard” and he did not know if they bumped the light or it just fell off.

“I think she was on her back when it happened but I was not paying attention because we are rolling around.”

Iranians To Return US Drone To Obama - Who Says There's No Muslim Sense of Humor?

You remember the top secret American RQ-170 Sentinel drone went down over Iran last month, the one President Obama asked them to pretty please return?

Well the Iranians are complying...sort of.

While Iran may have trouble reverse engineering the drone itself, an Iranian company has profited by making miniature toy versions of the drone. The toys come on several colors, are made of Iranian plastic, and most of them have already been snapped up by Iranian government organizations.

A special model — a pink one — has been specially reserved for President Obama.

“He said he wanted it back, and we will send him one,” said Reza Kioumarsi, the head of cultural production at the Ayeh Art group.

I wonder if President Obama's going to keep it on his desk as a sign of 'engagement'?

The Ayeh Art Group normally makes things like t-shirts, posters, buttons and mugs but is now cranking out 2,000 of the toy drones a day.

“This is not made in China,” Kioumarsi stressed.

The toy drones also come with a special transparent plastic stand emblazoned with a quotation from Ayatollah Khomeini, the founder of the Islamic Republic: “We will put America under our feet.”

Nifty!

Who says there no laughter in Islam? Certainly they're finding President Obama pretty comical.

Meanest, Nastiest Prank Ever!

Tell me you didn't laugh....

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An Amazing Quiz Guaranteed To Predict Your Favorite Movie!

This amazing quiz can predict which of 17 movies you would enjoy the most..

I don't know how it works, but it does. Play fair, and do the math first before you look at the list:

1. Pick a number from 1-9.

2. Multiply by 3.

3. Add 3.

4. Multiply by 3 again.

5.. Now add the two digits of your answer together.

Scroll down to find your favorite movie in the list of 17 movies below and prepare to be amazed:
















The Movies

1. Gone With the Wind

2. The Sound of Music.

3. Blazing Saddles

4. Star Wars

5. Forrest Gump

6. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

7. Jaws

8. Animal House

9. The Obama Concession Speech, 2012

10. Casablanca

11. Jurassic Park

12. Shrek

13. The Seven Samurai

14. Titanic

15. Raiders of the Lost Ark

16. Apocalypse Now

17. Toy Story



Cheerfully swiped from Roger over at Milpundit...many thanks!

please donate...it helps me write more gooder!

Repairman Caught And Charged With Replacing ATM Cash With Counterfeit Bills

Samuel Kioskli, a 64-year-old ATM serviceman apparently decided to fund an early retirement for himself by swapping out $200,000 in real bills for counterfeit ones at 7 machines he was servicing, and he nearly pulled it off.

The counterfeit bills were crude photocopies and weren't designed to fool anyone, so I would guess that the machines have a sensor that reports when they're running low and the photocopies were simply designed to allow Kioskli time to get out of town and make his getaway.

“He went into seven of these machines, took the cash out and replaced it with counterfeit, and not sophisticated, just simply taking some bills, placing them on the Xerox machine, cut them up and put them in its place in the machines,” said Steve Wagstaffe, San Mateo County District Attorney.

Once he had the cash in hand, Kioskli left town, and was already long gone by the time angry customers were marching into bank branches screaming about being scammed. It was almost a perfect crime.

But then Kioskli made two mistakes that are almost comical in their stupidity ( and please, no Polish jokes in the comments section).

First, he left without telling his wife anything, which meant she immediately made a missing persons report to the police.

If a guy wanted to bug out for a new life and was already going to dump his wife anyway, it would have taken someone with a fighting chance of a two digit IQ to figure out that feeding her some story about having to go out of town for a week or so would buy him more time for a getaway.

Second, Kioskli apparently was unclear on the concept of a successful escape. Now up to a point he did exactly what I would do in similar circumstances, look for someplace warm with no extradition treaty with the US, where $200,000 would make you comparatively rich and give you a nice stake to start over.

Unfortunately for him, the only part of that Kioskli figured out was the part about someplace warm.

After stealing $200 grand in cash and making his getaway, where did he flee to ?

Phoenix, Arizona.

I kid you not.

And that's where he was caught, at a routine traffic stop.

“Reported as a missing person, he went into the ‘Wanted Persons’ category. Then of course the investigation followed up and they said, ‘Well maybe he isn’t just a missing person.’ And that’s what led them to say ‘Well there’s a good person to target as to who might have taken the money,’” said Wagstaffe.

In a way, I have some sympathy for Kioskli. After all, he wasn't doing anything that Geithner and Bernanke over at the Fed aren't doing, printing up a lot of counterfeit dollars and then switching them - pardon me, 'buying them' on credit - for T-bills purchased with real money.

After they finish their time in government, Bernanke and Geithner will go back to their careers on Wall Street. Kioskli? He sitting in jail in lieu of $25,000 bail, and is being charged with four felonies, including commercial burglary and embezzlement.

He's definitely going to have a new life, but perhaps not the one he pictured.

-Selah-

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German Company Rewards Salesmen With Orgy

Ah, what a unique company benefit!

German insurance company Munich RE is one of the largest re-insurers in the world, and ERGO, one of their divisions must be a particularly happy place to work.

Back in 2007 ERGO rewarded its top sales people and executives with an orgy in the Hungarian capital of Budapest.

Apparently there were about a hundred participants and twenty prostitutes at the affair, and ( this part made me laugh) with typical Germanic efficiency the prostitutes all wore color-coded arm-bands designating whether they were available or not and and the women had their arms stamped after each, umm..servicing.

According to Handelsblatt, quoting an unnamed participant, guests were able to take the women to four-poster beds at the spa "and do whatever they liked".

"After each such encounter the women were stamped on the lower arm in order to keep track of how often each woman was frequented," the paper quoted the man as saying.

"The women wore red and yellow wrist bands. One lot were hostesses, the others would fulfill your every wish.

"There were also women with white wrist bands. They were reserved for board members and the very best sales reps."

I can just see it now. You see someone that catches your fancy, walk up to her and get told, " Hans, you only increased your sales quota by twenty per cent. Go find one of the yellow band girls, and try and do better next year, ja?"

A spokesman for ERGO admitted that yes, the orgy happened but also said that it was not the usual way the company rewarded their employees.

Work hard, play hard!

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Introducing The Barack Obama SEAL Action Figure!

Well, you knew this was coming....The Barack Obama Seal Team Six Action Figure!

No joke, it's being made by Hero Builders, a company in Connecticut and has been dubbed 'Rambama'. I'm sure most of the on-air lineup at MSNBC have already placed rush orders.

Never mind - it's curiously appropriate somehow that what we have here is a phony stuffed plastic dummy playing dress up with a toy gun and a 'Punisher' tee. And that it's being marketed by an American company but was likely made overseas by a subcontractor.

The Sniper has an amusing piece comparing how President Obama handles certain situations compared with real Navy SEALs.

(via Memeorandum)

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