Friday, November 18, 2011

Weekend Monkey On Politics: The GOP's Dance Of Death

Hidey Ho, Primates! Welcome to the one and only Real Banana, your source for the real poop on politics.

Let's do it and get to it..

I have to admit,I'm getting a lot of chuckles out of watching the Rethugs pull themselves to pieces. You'd think they'd know better. got Ron Paul, who I guess plays Grandpa Geezer to this crowd. He's nuttier than a jar of Planter's finest. You got Ricky Santorum, who acts like he forgot to take his ritalin or maybe has to pee, you got Crazy Eyes Bachman, who looked a lot better wrestling a corn dog back in Iowa...

Hee hee hee, talented!

Yeah, and then we get to what they call the serious candidates.

There's Rick Perry, some kinda weird genetic match up with Reaganesque looks and Bozo the Clown's brain.

You have Captain Pizza, AKA the Herman Cain clown show who probably still doesn't know that China 's a nuclear power and who's latest line is 'we need a leader, not a reader.' Tell me with a straight face that this guy isn't looking to land a reality show gig!

Cain is the funniest guy to run for office since my old pal Alvin Greene. Maybe even funnier, because there are still a number of ReThugs who take him seriously!

So then we get to the bottom of this bunch of bananas and looky who pops up - Newt Gingrich! Now,I thought he was dead, tell you the truth but apparently he's the new hero of the Tea Party set who really hate the other guy who's left, Mitt Romney.

What's funny about him being the Tea Party flavor of the week - well maybe of the month - is that they're supposed to be outsiders who are against the Washington establishment and ol' Newt has been hanging around DC land so long that there are probably sandwiches at K Street restaurants named after him - probably a combo of tongue and baloney with cheese whiz on white bread.

You gotta give him credit. He always thrived in the fetid jungle that is DC land, even after he was out of Congress.Hey, the guy made money, consulting and shilling for hire in a big way.

Good ol' Newt brings back a whiff of the heady days of Mr. Bill,when blue dresses and knee pads were in fashion and the phrase 'have a cigar' took on a whole new meaning.

Watching a colorful character like Newt duking it out with Romney the Robot to be the ReThug's leader is gonna be great and enliven the dull lives of you'll be like a freakin' video game, hee hee!

What kills me is that this election was the GOP's to lose, what with the economy still reeking like a baboon's rear end. But the way things look now, I call it at even money that the Bamster slides in for another term what with the poop slinging and knife fighting that's gonna be going on as the ReThugs fight for the top spot.

If Newty gets the nod,there's a whole buncha stuff that can be used against him , seeing that he's been around so long and he's not pristine in the least. I mean the ads write themselves. If Romney the Robot wins out, you gotta wonder how many ReThugs are gonna sit on their hands and not vote because they can't stand him.I mean, are enough of them gonna overcome their dislike of Mittens in favor of dumping Obama? If Romney the Robot gets the pick, that'll be the question.

Smell yah later, Primates!

Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008 and is JoshuaPundit's political Guru. He can be reached at

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louielouie said...

you silly monkey.
what difference does it make.
it's over.
it's done.
you gonna turn out the lights?

how many ReThugs are gonna sit on their hands and not vote because they can't stand him.

rethugs won't sit on their hands. they love him.
it's the conservatives who don't have a horse in the race.

Weekend Monkey said...

You say ba-Nah-nah, I say banana Louie. And to me,a rethug is a rethug no matter what.

It's not my fault you Republicans too dumb to get your act together.I just bet 'em as I see ;em, and as you know, I've been right a lot more than I've been wrong.

I swear, this monkey oughta switch parties just to show you rethugs how it's done.

Will Profit said...

Yeah, I see the monkey doesn't have the brass balls to denigrate GOP presidential candidate Linden Borden. The ONLY person, if elected, who would deliver an ass whoppin' to the Washington status quo.

B.Poster said...

Only "even money" that Mr. Obvama wins. I'd say it is at least 99.9% likely Mr. Obama wins. America is a left of center nation politically. Even the very limited austerity measures that some politicians have ttied to put in have been met with violent resistance. The types of austeriaty measures that are actually needed are far beyond this. Mr. Obama's supporters control the news media, the government beuracracy which includes but is not limited to the National Labor Relations Board, the EPA, OSHA, the FBI, the IRS, and the CIA. Also, Mr, Obama's supporters control the professorships, administration, and management of the major universities. In addition, Mr. Obama's supporters control the public education grades K-12. Not sure how one can the election was or is the Republicans to lose.

Not srue how or why Dr. Paul would be referred to as a nut. Most Americans are in full agreemebnt with Dr. Paul on foreign policy as is the media. Given the fact that this is a left of center nation politically, I'm not sure Americans are ready for his economic policies. As such, he probably would not win but to insult him is not fair.