Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Bush's latest War Crime...The Latest From Liberal Larry

Revealed: Bush Kidnapping Iraqi Womyn

It sure was a busy weekend for the Shrub. First an Egyptian ferry sank in the Red Sea, drowning all 27,000 passengers. Not surprising when you consider that Dumbya’s exorbitant new budget calls for over $900 trillion in tax cuts for the rich, yet not a single dime for improving safety conditions on Egyptian passenger ferries. Meanwhile, the Muslim World exploded with perfectly understandable rage over a series of crude and offensive cartoons that Bush submitted to a Danish newspaper. And Goddess only knows what dirt the Chimp had on the Superdome officials to make them completely ignore the 75 homeruns the Seattle Seahawks made right under their very noses. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was responsible for the drunken, face-painted barbarians who pulled down my pants and pushed me into the womyn’s restroom at the sports bar, too.

However, the Chimp’s weekend crime spree just wouldn’t be complete without a new atrocity in Iraq. As usual, this one went completely unnoticed by the right-wing controlled media. According to recently released military documents, U.S. occupying forces in Iraq have been illegally detaining the wives of Iraqi freedom fighters without an arrest warrant or benefit of legal counsel. A note is often left on the door of the family residence telling the husband to “come get your woman!” He is then forced to take time out from his busy schedule of blowing up humvees and sawing the heads off of infidels to come down to Army headquarters and retrieve his wife, only to find out it was all a trick. The next thing he knows, he’s strapped to a chair at Abu Ghraib and being forced to peruse this year’s Hooter’s calendar. How this serves our ultimate goal to win the “hearts and minds” of the ACLU is beyond me.

The Muslim culture places great value on their womyn – about a buck ninety-five on today’s market. While Muslim men work hard to provide for their families, the wife remains dutifully at home to care for their children, bringing them up healthy and strong so they explode with greater force and spread nails over a wider area. Muslim wives also assist in their husband's daily exercise regimen by serving as human punching bags in the event that there isn’t a Jew available. Such marital love and devotion is rare in this day and age.

So you see, the notion that Muslim womyn are treated worse than dogs is simply a Western myth. Indeed, as long as they keep their yaps shut and don’t get out of line, Muslim women are treated at least as good as dogs, if not better. For Bush to use the wives of Iraqi freedom fighters as bait to capture their devoted husbands goes beyond the pale, and is considered a graver insult than being saved from shark-infested waters by a Jew.

No wonder, then, that the Shrub attempted to send the Israeli Navy into the Red Sea to pull survivors out of the water - unusually icy for this time of year thanks to his refusal to ratify Kyoto - knowing full well that the Egyptians would prefer to drown.

Their blood is on his hands.

---Thanks and a hat tip toLiberal Larry

1 comment:

Dan Zaremba said...

$900 trillion in tax cuts for the rich, yet not a single dime for improving safety conditions on Egyptian passenger ferries.

Shocking, isn't it? LOL