FF: Now it's time to slither once again through the fetid political jungle with JoshuaPundit's own political guru, my pal Weekend Monkey.
WM: Hideyho,Primates!
FF: Howdy, Monkey...What's going on with the campaign?
WM: Hee hee hee! Whooo, it's getting down and dirty... I just love the poop slinging between Bill Clinton and Obama Yo' Mama!
FF: Yeah,it's really something alright..although actually it's both Clintons. You know how I see it, Monkey.
WM:Yeah, and the more I see, the more I think you got it right saying that Shrillary and Bill may have deliberately written off part of the black vote to Obama to court the Hispanic vote. Obama Yo' Mama was just stoopid enough to fall into the trap of the Martin Luther King stuff, so now they're both playing the race card - Shrillary with the Hispanics and their feelings about blacks and Obama posing as the official black candidate!It's a race war!
FF: Yeah, I heard an ABC poll that showed that his support among blacks in South Carolina has risen dramatically, while his support among whites has tanked. I guess I'm naive, but it still amazes me that the Democrats, who claim to be the party of diversity and political correctness would use race as a campaign tactic.And to be honest, I'm really disappointed in the parts of both the black and Hispanic electorate that are allowing themselves to be manipulated like that and are buying into it. They should turn their backs on both these jokers, Monkey.
WM: Like I told you before, FF,it may not make common sense but it makes political sense, OK? Shrillery wanted Obama to position himself as the black candidate...because of the numbers, it means he has as much chance of getting the Donkey nomination as Kucinich.
FF: He just dropped out too, y'know.
WM: Hey, why not? He already got what he wanted out of it. You ever seen his wife, that six foot tall redhead? Now that's one tree I wouldn't mind climbing..
FF: Monkey, you are dancing over the borderline of good taste on this site...
WM: Alright, alright, keep your hat on, OK? Sheesh!
FF: Ok. Monkey. First let's talk about South Carolina. You had a perfect track record on predicting elections until the GOP primary there,when you picked Huckabee to win over McCain....
WM: Yeah yeah, so Mccain beat him by what, a lousy three points or so? Big whoop. I told you it was too close to call,and the bookies said the same.I got Nevada right though, didn't I?
FF: Yup, and for both parties too.You even got the point spread exactly right on Hillary and Obama...5 points
WM: Well Nevada was where my money was anyway..I bet with the point spread.
FF: You're betting on the races??
WM: You betcha, FF. And I'm making a nice amount of bananas doing it too.
FF: Speaking of which, the last time we spoke, you mentioned a little something about `extra expenses', and a lot of our readers figured it had something to do with Baby Monkey. Are they right?
WM: @#!$!! Ok....here's the skinny. Sue Ki Yung, like I told you, was connected to the Obama campaign, which I didn't know when we got ummm..friendly.Anyway,her court case blew up because there's no legal way of establishing parenthood in these situations and I figure she already got paid anyway by the Obama Yo' mama people, so she all of a sudden wasn't so interested in legalities anymore. I figure she probably got Baby Monkey from an exotic animal dealer anyway, and..well, the end of the story is that I assumed legal custody and he's living with me and Gruppstein now.
FF: You adopted Baby Monkey?
WM: Hey, I wasn't going to let him go to a zoo or a science lab so..
FF: Monkey, you did the right thing.
WM: Yeah, yeah. Cramps my style a lot though, having the little jungle rat around.
FF: Now that you're a family man, maybe it's time for you to clean up your act a bit, y'know?
WM: @#!#!!#!
FF: Ooooh-kay...back to politics. Let's start with the Dems in South Carolina.
WM: Really too close to call at this point, and it depends on turnout. It's gonna split along racial lines, which, since half the dem electorate in South Carolina is black should favor Obama...but I still think Shrillary might take it, because she'll get the white and Hispanic vote, plus at least some of the blacks. Obama and Shrillary will be seperated by probably three points, max, whoever wins. And ultimately,it doesn't matter. Obama yo' Mama is toast after February 5th. Barbie might just drop out entirely. He won't be a factor in South Carolina or anywhere else.
FF: The GOP in Florida, Monkey?
WM: Man, that's a re-eal zoo. Giuliani needs a win, and like I always say, need adds a few notches to the point spread. He either has to win or come in a strong second just to stay alive.McCain needs it too. He has to show that he can win among rethugs in a sothern state where the primary isn't an open one.And there's enough of a military vote in Florida that favors him, just like Giuliani has all them transplanted New Yorker-type primates.Romney and Huckabuck are factors too,now that Fred Thompson is history.
The reality is that the polls show the rethugs seperated by a real thin margin, and even that doesn't tell the whole story, since a lotta primates already voted back when Rudy Giuliani was king of the jungle...I don't have a call on this one.
FF: Aw c'mon, Monkey!
WM: Really, FF, it could go any which way. I want to sniff the wind on this one a little more, OK?
FF: OK, fair enough Monkey, I'll let you get back to your family for the weekend..
Wm: You are really looking for it,FF. Smell ya later primates....
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