The Real Banana: Politics With Weekend Monkey, 1/14/08

FF: And now, it's time for a swing around the political zoo withJoshuaPundit's own political guru,Weekend Monkey.

WM: Hideyho,Primates! Take it all in!

FF: Careful there, Monkey...What's going on with the campaign?

WM: Hoo, the poop is starting to fly bigtime, FF! Howdja like the way Hillary and Obama Yo' Mama are both playing the race card?

FF: The funny part is the way your Dems portray themselves as the`anti-racist' party.

WM: Hey, I saw what a load that was when I was running...You think I've forgotten about the debates I was excluded from, the hotels that wouldn't admit me, the dirt and insults I was subjected to? Obama Yo' Mama,Richardson, Shrillary, you can all bite the rotten banana.

FF: You know, Richardson just dropped out.

WM: What, the big creep get sick eating too many burritos at Taco Bell or something?

FF: Monkey........!

WM: Alright, alright! Hey, he wanted to send me to Darfur on a one way ticket `for peace' just because I beat him out in that Iowa poll. OK, yeah I heard about Richardson. He was always just running for VP anyway.

Anyway, here's the deal on Shrillary and Obama...both of them are playing identity politics bigtime. Shrillery just mostly said that without Lyndon Johnson passing all that civil rights legislation, Martin Luther King Jr. woulda stayed a dreamer. That's code for saying that Obama Yo' Mama is just a dreamer,y'know? And letting the primates know that it takes a village...or an experienced legislater type primate like Shrillary to get things done. So Obama's people get to act all huffy and upset at her supposed poop slinging at King. They're trying to paint her as racist and disrespectful to black primates, which is stoopid..without the black vote, both Shrillary and Obama Yo' Mama can faggedabboudit!

FF: Did you hear what Hillary said about Obama? She was doing an interview on TV and after saying that King was one of the people she "admired most in the world," she used it as a platorm to bash Obama:

"Dr. King didn't just give speeches. He marched, he organized, he protested, he was gassed, he was beaten, he was jailed".

Essentially she said Obama was nothing but a gasbag..

"If you are part of American political history, you know that speeches are essential to frame an issue, to inspire, and lift up....but when the cameras are gone and when the lights are out, what happens next?"

WM: HOOT! See, FF, I don't call her Shrillary for nothing! Her and Mr. Bill are gonna destroy Obama Yo' Mama. Not that I give a damn.

FF: Y'know,Monkey,you missed something last time. You scooped the major pundits and pollsters, got all the winners right in New Hampshire for both parties, yeah, but you forgot that only Shrillary is on the ballot in Michigan for the Dems, because they disobeyed their Democrat overlords and advanced their primary. They've been stripped of most of their delegates and all the candidates except Senator Clinton are staying off the ballot, although there may be write-ins. So with that in mind, let's take a look at Michigan for the Republicans.

WM: Hee hee hee, OK, you got me on that one FF. Hmmm, the Rethugs in Michigan...I still see that as a toss up between Romney and McCain. If you're gonna insist, I call it for Romney, but it will be a push. It would be a shocka to me if he or McCain won by more than two points. Huckapoo, by the way will do better than expected because of Michigan's economic problems.So will Ron Paul. Romney will probably pull it out just because it's an independent primary and some Dems will likely cross over vote for him just to keep the ReThugs' pot boiling, since the Dems don't really have a primary..

FF: You could be right, Monkey. I read where Daily Kos was telling their leftards to vote for Romney to keep the GOP fighting among themselves.OK, South Carolina?

WM: Well, it depends on Michigan a lot. I call it for Huckapoo, with McCain second. Fred Thompson may take third, if he's lucky.

FF: You see Huckabee winning there?

WM: Oh yeah, that's like, Jesusland. Plus, he's a southerner, and he seems to resonate with the primates. And I thought about what you said about the military and ex-military vote, so I'm picking McCain for second. Romney, Giuliani and Fred Thompson battle it out to show.

FF: Well, I don't care for the term `Jesusland', but that's pretty much how I see it, Monkey. The Dems?

WM: I'm calling that for Shillary. I see her as getting at least close to half the black primates to figure out how to punch the hole next to her name,and that should do it. But it'll be close, like New Hampshire. Obama Yo' Mama will still be a factor until after Super Tuesday.

FF: OK, Monkey. So far your track record since 2006 is 100%..let's see if your winning streak continues. I swear, I don't know how you're doing it.

WM: Hey, FF, it's like you said, I'm one savvy political animal.

FF: No endorsements yet, hmmm?

WM: This monkey's no sucker, FF. Let's see if the primates come up with a leetle something-something for my support. When they start smelling the aroma of victory, I betcha they'll come calling.

FF: Fair enough,Monkey. Talk to you later...

WM: Until next time, FF!