Monday, April 20, 2009

Weekend Monkey's Real Banana On politics, 4/21/09

Hidey Ho, Primates! Welcome to the one and only Real Banana, your source for the real poop on politics.

Let's do it and get to it..

Well, tea party day has come and gone, and the primates definitely seem pretty riled.
And so do Obama's towel boyz and girlz in the media. I mean, I never would have thought that gay sexual humor like 'teabagging' would actually go mainstream, but that's MSNBC for you.For those of you who don't know what that is, it involves one primate squatting over the face of another primate who then takes the part of the first primate's package that most resembles teabags into his mouth. That's the meaning behind gay newsguy Anderson Cooper's juvenile little wheeze about how it's hard to talk when you're teabagging.

Nice. Classy.

I warned my fellow Domocrats this pimple would come to a head if Obama got the nod from the Donkeys, and I was right. With the high taxes, crazy spending and the other monkey shines that are going on in DC, Obama could end up doing to my Democrats what Bush did to the Rethugs...owchie!

Speaking of gay stuff, Rudy Giuliani is back in the news, whaddya know? David Patterson, the present NY guv is, shall we say, muy unpopular with just a 13% approval rating, just a little above Spitzer about the time he got popped with that hooker, if you can believe that.

So Patterson likely figured he'd pick up a few points by pushing a same-sex marriage bill.

Rudi jumped on that one like a pit bull on a poodle, saying:

"This is the kind of issue that, in many ways, is somewhat beyond politics.

I think gay marriage will obviously be an issue for any Republican next year because Republicans are either in favor of the position I'm in favor of, civil unions, or in many cases Republicans don't even favor civil unions."

What this means is that Rudi definitely looks like he's getting ready to take a shot at the governor's seat in New York State..which could be a stepping stone to try for the White House in 2012. If he gets into it, he's going to be tough to beat in New York, especially given his track record as opposed to Patterson and Spitzer's. Rudy taking on Patterson would be a massacre - probably at least 15 -1 by election day unless something weird happens. Hey, I'd take those odds.

What Patterson doing is moving hard left to try and fend off a primary challenge from Andy Cuomo, who is after his ass because of not getting appointed to Hillary's Senate seat. So you could see a real catfight here, with the hard left, blacks and gays siding with Patterson versus Democrat whites, Latinos and ethnics for Cuomo.

If I were running Patterson's thing, I'd bribe somebody to get into the race and split Cuomo's base to get the nomination, then try to unite the Donkeys against whoever the ReThug candidate turns out to be. Hey, it could work!

If Cuomo beats out Patterson, it's more of a dogfight between him and Giuliani, but to do that Cuomo is going to have to challenge a sitting black governor which ain't gonna sit well with a significant slice of the Donkey electorate. He'll also have to endorse same sex marriage as opposed to Rudy's more moderate civil union stance and there's no telling how that's going to play out, even in a place like New York City..and besides, Rudy could pick up a lotta the gay vote just by parading in drag again..but hopefully, with a fashion consultant - that last dress was a !##@!&! trainwreck. We'll see what develops.

Meanwhile, my Democrats look like they're going to add another senate and House seat to our margin of victory in a coupla close elections by applying that old Democratic principle of counting every vote that counts and discounting those that don't. Hey, that's politics.

With Al Franken in the Senate, cracks about 'those clowns in Washington' will take on a brand new meaning, trust me. Hey, if Franken can get in, don't be surprised if I don't take a stab at it. You could be addressing me as Senator Monkey in the future.

Smell yah later, Primates!

Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008 and is JoshuaPundit's political guru. He can be reached at


louielouie said...

you again..............
You could be addressing me as Senator Monkey in the future.
that's what i call all of 'em.
when i'm feeling nice.
i never fell nice.
ask ff.
but then you would have to admit to him you were posting on his website.
how 'bout we just call you what you are monkey boy.
as for an address we could use elm or oak or hickory.
get the pattern monkey boy?
how you get access to ff website is beyond me?????

Weekend Monkey said...

Yo Louie Louie,
I know my political wisdom is miles above a peabrain primate like yourself, and I'm talking about matters you have problems understanding.

But do you think you could manage to comment (or at least ask questions) about the stuff in my column instead of just flinging poop like a deliquent baboon?

Yah think?

louielouie said...