Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Hilarious! Jimmie Kimmel Savages ObamaCare

And young ObamaBots,ignorantly supporting something that is clearly not in their best's the transcript:

JIMMY KIMMEL, HOST: The rollout of the Affordable Care Act continues to be terrible. First, there was technical problems with the website. Now comes news that not enough young and healthy Americans are signing up for coverage, which is crucial for the success of the program. The way insurance works is you need all the young healthy people to pay for insurance and not use it until they get old and unhealthy. And so far, only a quarter of the 2.2 million people who signed up are between 18 to 34, 24 percent.

The White House was hoping for closer to 38 percent. Why they would hope that, I don't know. They expect young people to buy insurance at the same time the PlayStation 4 comes out? You know, if you want young people to sign up, maybe you shouldn’t have made the law so that you can stay on your parents’ plan until you turn 26. What kid is going to say, “You know, no thanks, mom and dad, I've got the premiums covered actually?”

The deadline to sign up is March 31. In my experience, if you want to get young people to do something, all you have to do is tell them specifically not to do something. Right? Or give ten free lives in Candy Crush to the first two million subscribers.

But just to make sure the younger people do sign up, the Obama administration is rolling out a new ad campaign that's targeted specifically at the young and vibrant.


ALEX: Hi. I'm Alex, and this is my wife Martha, and we're both approaching the big 6-0.

MARTHA: And we have health care issues to deal with.

ALEX: I take blood pressure medication.

MARTHA: And Levitra.

ALEX: Yes. And Martha’s got beta blockers and something for her osteoporosis. And it’s not cheap.

MARTHA: But fortunately we don't have to pay for it.

ALEX: No, you do.

MARTHA: That’s right. You young people are paying for our drugs and our doctors.

ALEX: Not to mention our Social Security and our Medicare when we retire to Boca. And you know why?

MARTHA: Because you don't vote.

ALEX: And we do.

MARTHA: That’s right. Hope you enjoy that Burning Guy festival.

ALEX: Come on, Martha, let's go find that Levitra.

MARTHA: Oh, Alex!

ANNOUNCER: The Affordable Care Act. Next time, maybe pick up a newspaper.


KIMMEL: A newspaper FYI is like an iPad made of trees.

KIMMEL: In case you aren’t disgusted enough with government waste, a watchdog agency that monitors government spending has just revealed that penis pumps between the years 2006 and 2011 cost the U.S. Medicare program how much? $172 million. I didn't even know penis pumps were a real thing. I thought it was like x-ray specs or something. But apparently they are. They're one of the available treatments for erectile dysfunction. Medicare paid for almost half a million of them.

Wow, imagine how the countries that we owe money to feel about that. “They're over there blowing it on penis pumps.” I don't want to be reactionary. I know a lot of these programs sound dumber than they actually are when you analyze them, but it does seem like a waste. Although some Americans seem to be pretty happy about it.


ALEX (IN BED WITH MARTHA): Hi. Alex and Martha again.

MARTHA: We just wanted to say thank you for the penis pump.

ALEX: Yeah. I can't believe you got this for me. You guys are the greatest. Now back to your unpaid internships.

MARTHA: You're bad.

ALEX: Let me show you how bad. (Alex and Martha then slip under the covers.)

ANNOUNCER: The Affordable Care Act. Yup, you’re paying for that too.


KIMMEL: Thanks Alex and Martha.


(H/T, Newsbusters)

1 comment:

louielouie said...

this kimmel guy better get his papers together.
the irs is calling.