Obama's Teleprompter Kidnapped!!! The President Is Speechless

I regret to inform you that the TOTUS has been kidnapped along with President Obama's podiums, presidential seal and a truckload of other sound equipment by persons unknown when the truck carrying them was stolen in the midst of the president taxpayer funded campaign swing.

The truck was found abandoned outside Henrico, Virginia.

The president, shown here above frolicking with his beloved TOTUS in happier days was not available for comment, but special presidential aide Charles 'Tick' Jamal spoke briefly with the press:

"The president is obviously speechless and distraught over the incident. He and TOTUS have a uniquely close and personal relationship. The FBI is currently working with the local authorities trying to ascertain the facts of the case. There has not yet been any communication or ransom demands from the kidnappers."

A Defense Information Systems Agency spokesperson who spoke on background added, "No classified or sensitive information was in the vehicle. We take incidents such as this very seriously and a formal investigation is continuing."

A nation waits and hopes. Or at least an Administration does. I'll keep you posted as new details come in.

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