Tuesday, February 19, 2008
FF: Now it's time to swing once again through the rancid political jungle with JoshuaPundit's own political guru, my pal Weekend Monkey.
FF: Well, Monkey, there have certainly been some interesting developments since the last time we spoke..
WM: You betcha, FF!
FF: You picked McCain to win the GOP nomination two weeks ago, but did you expect McCain to have the show to himself by now?
WM: Honestly, after Florida I guess Romney figured he'd spent enough.I pretty much called it as far as what was going to go down with him on Super Dooper Tuesday. He never had a chance. Neither did Huckabuck, but hey - what else has he got to do? probably get a book deal or a radio show out of it or something.
FF: And the Donkeys,Monkey?
WM: I gotta admit, I underestimated Obama Yo'Mama's results on Sooper Dooper Tuesday a little but keep this in mind...a lot of the states he won were Red Rethug states like Idaho,Alaska, Nebraska and Utah. I don't see how you translate that into results in the general in November. Plus, I was right about Shrillary winning the Hispanic votes in California, New Jersey and New York.
FF:Very True...So, let's have some numbers,Monkey.
WM: Ok,Ok Mr. Impatient! I'm calling Wisconsin for Obama Yo' Mama but only by two points or so. If some sucker is dumb enough to offer you Hillary plus five, take it because you'll win your shekels on the spread.This is stringing it out a little but as of now I think Texas and Ohio will go for Shrillary by decent margins. So will Pennsylvania. Obama will take Rhode Island, Missippi, Oregon and probably Kentucky, South Dakota and Montana. Puerto Rico and Indiana will probably go Shrillary, although if Obama Yo' Mama manages an upset in Texas or Ohio things will change drastically...but I don't expect that.
FF: So what's the bottom line, Monkey?
WM: My Democrats go to the convention and have a real dogfight..wheee!The poop is gonna fly!
FF: Any predictions?
WM : Well,neither Shrillary or Obama Yo' Mama is likely to make it to the convention with enough delegates in their pocket to outright take over, so they'll be trying to steal from each other..
FF: Y'know what I think, Monkey? I thinK we're headed for a Hillary-Obama ticket if that happens.As a matter of fact, I think we're headed there anyway.
WM: Get real, FF!
FF: Here's how I see it playing out, Monkey. If Obama's absolutely stuck and simply can't make the nomination fly on his own, I think Lady Macbeth will sit down with Obama and Mr. Bill in a room and make a kind of co-presidency deal. For one thing,she wants it worse than he does and this is her last shot. Obama has time,he's only 47 and this way it's a step up for him and a chance to be in the national spotlight and take over as heir to the throne in 8 years. Even if she manages to get Michigan and Florida seated ( and I think she will) she still needs to make peace with Obama to get the black vote.
WM: I think they hate each other too much,but we'll see. So you see Shrillary taking it,hmmm?
FF: Yeah..I'm going by Weekend Monkey's Rules. She wants it more, so she has the advantage over Obama.
WM: Finally,you listen to my wisdom FF.It's like I use to tell you back in the old music biz days, just because it looks like a banana doesn't mean you can eat it.
FF: Uh, yeah Monkey...by the way, Mr. Wisdom, how much money did you have to end up repaying back to Capitol to keep them from prosecuting? That was one leveraged expense account!
WM: !##$@! You may think you're some kinda Big Banana serious political commentator now,but how'd you like your fans to find out about the orgies you used to have over at the Tropicana or at that opium den of yours in Laurel Canyon? Caligula woulda been embarrassed to attend some of those shindigs!
FF: Ah, dear dead days...I still have some of the pictures and videos, Monkey.Some with you in them.Remember Halloween and the `shrooms girls?
WM: #!!#@! You told me you burned all that stuff!
FF: Well, much of it. Hey, at least it didn't surface during the campaign, right?
WM: I suppose...I can't believe you still have that stuff. Whooo!
FF: Yes, well. As far as Campaign `08 goes, I guess we'll see if you get your wish for a knock down drag out catfight between Michelle Obama and Hllary..should be must see entertainment!
UPDATE: Obama won Wisconsin by more than the point spread...here's hoping Monkey didn't have too much money on it!