British Blogpal Canker has a truly funny bit called Calmly dealing with crime, based on a British Home Office minister's suggestion that people "distract" potential criminals while waiting for the police to show up.....
Here's a sample:
"Hello, hello. Is that the police?"
"You've come through to the Home Office, sir. What seems to be the problem?"
"There's a man. He's hitting an old lady. Right here, on the street outside my home!"
"We'll send someone 'round. But I'm sure he's not. Probably just a bit of youthful high spirits"
"No. Oh look! He's hitting her again. And trying to push her over!"
"Have you tried hopping?"
"What?"
"Have you tried hoppping at him?"
"He's a tough looking chap. All covered in tattoos. Why would I hop at him?"
"Well, it might distract him."
"Distract him? You need to arrest him. I ought to go out there and punch him. The big bully!"
"Now sir, don't talk about punching him. That might well be illegal and there's no need. Studies have shown that a quick distracting manoeuvre is far more likely to be effective....
Read the whole thing and picture John Cleese as the Home Office functionary and maybe Eric Idle as the caller...
Here on our side of the pond, of course, we have the Second Amendment to deal with these social interpersonal situations - thank G-d!
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