San Francisco continues to be America's surefire joke material - rivaled perhaps only by its East Bay neighbor Berkeley.
The latest frolic by Gommorah-on-the-Bay concerns a new law under consideration by San Francisco's Commission of Animal Control and Welfare that would ban all pet sales..except for fish.
"People buy small animals all the time as an impulse buy, don't know what they're getting into, and the animals end up at the shelter and often are euthanized," said commission Chairwoman Sally Stephens. "That's what we'd like to stop."
San Francisco residents who want a pet - or as they're known in enlightened circles, 'companion animals' - would either have to buy one outside the city or adopt from a shelter.
Oddly enough, the biggest problem is rodents like hamsters, which by far account for the greatest percentage of animals turned in to the city's shelters, according to San Francisco Animal Care and Control director Rebecca Katz.
"It's definitely a concern," she said. "They're an impulse buy, and we do sometimes get tons of them, especially babies."
Tons of hamsters? Gerbils? Guinea pigs?
Now I certainly wouldn't want to cast any aspersions, but San Francisco is known for its numerous and high profile component of kinksters of various kinds, and there's that old story about actor Richard Gere I seem to recall...all those used rodents being dumped at the shelters..hmm.
Nah. Couldn't be a correlation.
Being the public minded person I am, I will once again offer my former home town yet another suggestion to make lemonade out of lemons.
Rather than euthanize the beasts, why not breed them? Think of the applications..a cheap source of meat for school lunch programs, the jails, a partially subsidized City employees cafeteria program...it's the ultimate employee benefit. And the best part is that nobody really has to know. All you need is a few dedicated City employees to do the um..processing discretely, and I'm sure Mayor Gavin Newsome knows where to find a few of those lurking around.
You're quite welcome.
At any rate, the commission is going to decide on this one in a special meeting tonight, although the Board of Supervisors would have final say on the matter.
I'll keep you posted.
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