Monday, November 02, 2009

Election Eve Predictions, with Weekend Monkey

With the off year elections scheduled for tomorrow, it seems like a good time to check in with JoshuaPundit's political guru and handicapper,former 2008 Democratic presidential candidate Weekend Monkey:

WM: Howdy do-ooo primates! How's it swingin' FF..or should I call you Rob now?

RM: Either or. I'm fine,Monkey. Look, there are three major off year races being held tomorrow.

WM: yeah, yeah... the Virginia and Jersey governor races and that wacked out House race in upstate New York

RM: Yeah NY 23.

WM: I gotta admit, I almost laughed myself sick at the antics of the primates in that one. I mean, the ReThugs hand pick somebody even Daily Kos likes, give her a million bucks, and then she drops out, sees the light and defects to my Democrats! Hee hee hee!! I mean, is anybody in charge over at the ReThug National Committee? You can't make that kind of comedy up.

RM: You figure like I did she was bribed?

WM: Whadda you think? Maybe a job in the Obama Administration, maybe a guarantee of no opposition for her assembly seat once she jumps parties..and plus, all that moolah for her campaign war chest that the RNC ain't never gonna get back!

RM: Numbers, Monkey?

WM: I figure Hoffman by four points, give to take an ACORN if you know what I mean. If you can get Hoffman at even money or with a point, I'd lay all over it. Or likewise, Owens with five or six is a safe bet, if you can find anybody stoo-pid enough to offer it.

RM: What did you think about how Sarah Palin jumped on this.

WM: I gotta admire her smarts. Even if he loses, it will only be by an ACORN and she's established her dominance and marked her territory, y'know?

RM:I think we'll leave that one there. Let's look at Virginia, Monkey.

WM: Okey-dokes. Northern Virginia has changed a lot, because of the run off of primates fleeing the zoo that DC and Blue Maryland have become. But I still don't see Deeds as having a prayer. One of my contacts told me that there was a major poop throwing between Deeds and a major face in the Obama Administration - probably Rahm Emmanuel - over how money was being spent and certain other things were being done, so they cut him loose out of spite.

I see McDonnell winning big, by at least 10-12 points. I wouldn't even lay any shekels on this one, because it's so lopsided - unless you find an idiot who will give you Deeds and at least 15.

RM: And finally, Jersey.

WM: Are you kidding? Really, it's too close to call but Obama has put major face time and a lot of money in this one.And this is Jersey, remember? Corzine and my Dems will have homeless and dead people voting all over Newark and Jersey City and mega bucks in walking around money for every black preacher in Newark to make sure this comes out right, y'know? Ok, if you insist, I give it to Corzine, but by no more than two.

RM: So what do you think it all means?

WM: Look, Obama is floundering, no question and these results reflect it. But in the big scheme of things, the most important of the three is the house race, because that's a message to the ReThug leadership that they have some serious problems. For my donkeys, even if the GOP wins all three it's troubling but not that big a bunch of bananas, y'know? And that's how the press will spin it.

RM: Thanks to you soon..

WM: You know it...Hidey Ho,primates!

Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008 and is JoshuaPundit's political Guru. He can be reached at


louielouie said...

you again!!!!!!!
did ff sober you up for this, or did he buy you a laptop so you could *hack* into his site from where ever you are currently incarcerated?

is anybody in charge over at the ReThug National Committee?
you have to ask that question, and call that insight?

You can't make that kind of comedy up.
no, but reading you comes awfully close.

she's established her dominance and marked her territory, y'know?
i certainly wish ff would mark his territory.

you and your dinosaur media will certainly spin & dry cycle this however they want. but i think if the conservative leaning candidates do win, the media won't even report it, and if they do they will report hoffman as a third party candidate only. and also what your media won't report is the significance of the blogs in these races and getting scuzzyface out of the race.
speaking of scuzzyface, are you and dede close?
DNAwise, y'know.

i do have another question for you chimpy.
i got an e-mail from ff last week discussing the standing of the media and their bleeding revenue. ff made an interesting comment when i, in my e-mail, compared J/P to the ownership of the dallas morning news.

ff stated:
Awesome...the difference of course is that JP is not selling stock, so it's not playing with OPM.
so tell me monkey boy, why is it i get these monthly e-mails from yourself, announcing stock options in the J/P website?
and how did you get my e-mail address in the first place?
does ff know about this chimpy?
i bet he does now.
i wouldn't want to be in your fur when he reads this.
here's some advice monkey boy.
you and letterman get a couple of interns and watch the returns tomorrow night. just don't turn your back on letterman.

Freedom Fighter said...

He's been selling stock options!??!!

Did you buy any?

I think that the media will have to report the returns, although they will downplay their effect.


Anonymous said...

If the Dems do badly in these elections, today could mark the end of Obamacare. Moderate Dems won't sacrifice their careers if supporting Obama is seen as political suicide.

B.Poster said...

The Republicans nominate Scuzzy Fuzzy or whatever her name is, give her a bunch of money, she withdraws from the race, and defects to the Democrats. Not only that but she gets endorsed by big name power brokers in the Republican party like Newt Gingrich before jumping over to the Democrats. With political instincts like this it is no wonder that the Republicans are in trouble.

Perhaps Mr. Hoffman the third party candidate can win and this will may start the beginning of a viable third party movement. If not, assuming the Republicans wish to survive, the leaders of the party will stop trying to wage war with the "base" that includes but is not limited to the so called "religous right." I would suggest giving them a meaningful voice in the operations of and in the direction the party goes.

louielouie said...

i used to think that the dems were so fractional that they never could come together and would surely splinter into two or three parties. however, i was wrong about this as i failed to realize the galvanizing point of their philosophy. their dislike of every thing that is america. and so they come together and elect a non-american.
the republicans are not so lucky.
they are dem-lite.
i must disagree with b.poster regarding allowing compromise in this manner of the party because in just don't think the liberal repubs will allow it. also by falling back on what m.thatcher said, paraphrasing: compromise in this manner is not leadership.
and michael steele/newt are not showing leadership.
and newt did such a good job of standing up to the media in defending sarah palin during the convention last year.

also, going back to monkey boy's original observations. i wonder if because of chimpy's unique position within the dem camp he will be voting in all three elections today? and how many times in each?

B.Poster said...

Scuzzy Fuzzy took a large sum of money from the Republican party all while getting a big player in the party to endorse her then she turns around and endorses the Democrat. This is base betrayal of the worst kind. The Democrats may be happy now to get her support, however, they need to remember, if she can betray the Republicans when it is convenient for her to do so, she can also betray them when it suits her interests.

I'm sure glad I don't donate to the Republican party. No doubt many good Conservatives donated to the RNC who in turn showered money on this lady. Now it is unlikely they will ever get this money back.

Weekend Monkey said...

Well look what crawled out from underneath the bushes, louie louie!

Now that I've already laid my bets, loser, the answer to your question is Jersey of course. You can't figure that out?

Corzine's goons are paying the most,because it's close. And I figure I can probably vote at least five times each in Camden and Newark. I'll use your name for one of the ballots, chum.......p.

And what's this baboon crap about me selling stock options?? You and I both know it was just me trying to beat those primates from Nigeria at their own game. There never were any real stock options moron, and if you were genetically deprived enough to send money to that address that's your problem.

Although it did go to a good cause, I'll tell you that....ME!

Bite the rotten banana.

Weekend Monkey