Sunday, November 22, 2009

There's Always A Solution To Any Problem...

Let's illustrate this by looking at two very different stories:

The first one comes from the London Times, a heart rending account about how the city of Detroit, long mismanaged on behalf of leftist high tax and spend policies, corruption and racial politics is now so broke that it can't even afford to bury its dead:

The abandoned corpses, in white body bags with number tags tied to each toe, lie one above the other on steel racks inside a giant freezer in Detroit’s central mortuary, like discarded shoes in the back of a wardrobe.

Some have lain here for years, but in recent months the number of unclaimed bodies has reached a record high. For in this city that once symbolised the American Dream many cannot even afford to bury their dead.

“I have not seen this many unclaimed bodies in 13 years on the job,” said Albert Samuels, chief investigator at the mortuary.

Definitely a bad situation..but like I said, for every problem, there's a solution:

A Peruvian gang that allegedly killed people and drained fat from their corpses for use in cosmetics may have been inspired by a grisly Andean legend.

Hilarió Cudeña Simon, the alleged ringleader, linked the crimes to tales of demonic assassins, known as Pishtacos, who purportedly waylaid victims in pre-Columbian times, police said. {..}

At a news conference police displayed two bottles of fat, which laboratory tests confirmed were human. "The fat was extracted from the thorax and thighs," said Eusebio Felix Murga, chief of police of Dirincri district. Police also showed a photo of the rotting head of a 27-year-old male victim discovered last month in a coca-growing valley.

Police said they received a tip four months ago about a trade in human fat, which exported the amber liquid to Europe as anti-wrinkle cream. In addition to the alleged ringleader the suspects were named as Segundo Castillejos Agüero, Marcos Veramendi Princípe and Enadina Estela Claudio. They have been charged with homicide, criminal conspiracy, illegal firearms possession and drug trafficking.

I think we have a win-win situation here and I recommend that the powers that be in Detroit head down to Peru and contact these people forthwith. The city could probably make additional money on the deal by offering the gang a direct shipping contract, since Detroit is closer to Europe than Peru and could thus service the deal more efficiently.

As a matter of fact, now that I think of it Detroit could probably deal directly with the Europeans and cut the Peruvians out of the loop entirely. The murder rate in MoTown is also skyrocketing, so there ought to be a fairly steady supply of 'product'.

This fits in well with Detroit's other new alternative commercial endeavor, a cannabis college.

Now, if they develop some laboratories and processing plants for other recreational pharmaceuticals and maybe a few human organ rings, the Motor City's transformation will be complete.

It'll be a major showplace that shows how well things go when the Left runs things, baby!

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