Monday, April 21, 2008

The Real Banana on Politics, With Weekend Monkey,4/21/08

FF: Once again,it's time to creep through the rancid political jungle with JoshuaPundit's own political guru and former Democratic Presidential Candidate, my pal Weekend Monkey.

WM: Hideyho,Primates!Whaddup, FF!

FF: It's good,'s all good. So let's talk politics..what did you think of the debate,and where are things going?

WM: Hee hee hee! At least this one was fun to watch...

FF: Because Obama got smacked around a little?

WM: Like I told you,FF - take away his teleprompter and his script and ask him some unpleasant questions and Obama Yo' Mama don't look so good, no. Plus,he's a doofus to think that two ex-Clintonistas weren't going to put him in the hot seat.

FF: You think Hillary put them up to it?

WM: Nah..wasn't necessary. It just made good TV. Let's face it,lately the facade on Jesus II has been crumbling like a cheap coat of lead paint on one of Tony Rezco's tenements!

FF:Heh! Good one,Monkey! But let's face it,Hillary came in for some pretty good shots too...

WM: Well,c'mon FF. One minute she's single handedly parachuting into Bosnia and killing five Serb snipers with her bare hands and a Swiss army knife,the next thing we see the video with some rug rat bringing her flowers at the airport without a shot being fired..she deserves to get slapped for that one.

FF:Y'know,Monkey, I gotta admit that until I saw the video, I had a sneaking suspicion she was telling the truth. I mean, I could see Mr. Bill sending her into a free fire zone and forgetting to mention it...

WM: Ouchie, FF!!!

FF:Like she said, I guess she was just less accurate than she's been previously...

WM: Stop FF,your killing me! When she said that,I lost a whole mouthful of Bushmills and banana extract all over the couch,no jive.

FF: It reminded me of something they used to do in some small towns..they'd have a liar's contest and offer a prize to the person who told the biggest, most outrageous whopper.

WM: You just summarized the Democrat race in a sentence,FF.

FF: Still bitter, I see. OK,so the debate didn't go so well for Obama.What does it mean in terms of the campaign? I want some numbers,Monkey.

WM: Ok...I figure that Obama shooting his mouth off in San Francisco and the debate fiasco are worth about 2 or 3 points to Shrillary in PA. I figured her as winning by between 5 and 6 points there, max, so we'll call it for Shrillary by between 7 and 9 points. Probably 7, rather than 9. If some 'tard will give you Obama and 8, it's a serious bet,but I wouldn't plunge on it. I'm laying little money in that direction and hedging by betting on Shrillary to win by 7; the payoff isn't as big as Obama Yo'Mama with points, but this way if she does 7 or better,I still get paid.It's all good.

FF: So, no double digit win for Hillary?

WM: I'd be surprised, I'll say that.

FF: Did you see the story about one of her internals being leaked and showing her up by 11?

WM: Aww, please FF. Oldest trick in the book.They maybe can fool some of the idiots in the mainstream press, but they'd have to do a lot better than that to fool this Monkey. Nah, 7 or 8 points max, Hillary is a lot more realistic. Besides, remember...Obama Yo' Mama's support is where? Philly. You think they've forgotten how to vote corpses,crack hoes and homeless people there? And the mayor's an Obama-ite, right?

FF: And after Pennsylvania?

WM: Shrillary will take Indiana by a couple or three points,Obama will win big in North Carolina.

But the key thing will be how Obama does in PA and Indiana with white people, particularly white males. It's like we were talking about last time..if Obama tanks with that group, she's got some ammo to use on the Superdelegates which is what it will all come down to in the end anyway. It'll get sorted out at the convention, FF. I give her a one in four shot,one in three if I'm wrong and she does double digits in Pennsylvania. But then,when have you ever known me to be wrong about these things?

FF: Not often, Monkey, not often.I'm still surprised you don't have your own show on cable..

WM: Sheer species-ist bigotry,FF. It makes me sad and angry.

FF: Yes, yes I know. Here's food for thought. Remember your rule of thumb on campaigns..that there's an edge to who ever needs it the most?

WM: Yeah, go on...

FF: Hillary may not need a win quite so bad as we thought. Assuming Obama gets the Donkey Crown and gets creamed in the general, McCain is likely to be a one term president. And basd on what I see ahead,it might be some tough times and he might end up not being so popular in four which case Hillary is still young enough to run again in 2012.

WM:That's a lotta if's FF...but it makes a certain amount of sense. Especially since the odds are against her getting the Donkey crown anyway. The party needs a monolithic black vote, the nutroots and George Soros' money to win, and that's the bottom line. The only chance she's got is to convince the superdelegates that Obama is going to tank bigtime in the general. She'll be on them like a lapdancer at a bachelor party following a trail of benjies.

FF: Fair enough ,Monkey! Let's get together again towards the end of the week and compare notes...we'll see if your winning streak stays intact.

WM: Right-i-o, FF. Smell ya later, primates!

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