Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Weekend Monkey's `The Real Banana' 11/29/06

Hoo, primates! Welcome to Weekend Monkey's Real Banana!

Let's talk about victims, shall we? I mean, everybody's a victim!

Lately, the big noise is all about this so-called comedian Michael Richards losing it and dissing some yokels in a club in Los Angeles when they trashed his act, and using the `N' word...because they were both Black. And I ain't talking about calling somebody a nectarine!

And of course, they're now victims of racism.

Man, you'd think they never heard that word in a comedy club in Los Angeles before or in a rap record or on the street...and from all the brew-ha-ha you'd think this guy Richards was caught molesting a sheep in the middle of Sunset Boulevard! As a matter of fact, it might have been better for him if he had.

Ok, ok so this guy Richards is apologizing profusely..I mean he opens the refrigerator and apologizes to the leftover pasta in the tupperware on the shelf for being this horrible person.He's apologizing to everybody.

Therapy and rehab is next, right? I mean,why shouldn't Richards be a victim as well?

I don't buy it for a second, since this guy has a history of racist rants. This is
not the first time this creep has gone nutso in public...apparently he doesn't like Jews either. But that's not the point. What bothers me is how race pimps like Reverend Al and Jessie Jackson are rolling in this like an orangatang in some fresh dung. You just know that this gives them a fresh reason to shake down their fellow primates and pump up their lifestyles.

I mean, I get a real chuckle out of one racist groveling and aplogizing to a coupla career racists, y'know? Richards is just a dumb amateur compared to these guys... professional victims.

Apparently the professional victims had this big ol' meeting and decided that their new hook to Easy Street is a campaign to ban using the `n' word. It's sort of like making it a crime to have this in your brain. That's stupid, because if someone is thinking about calling someone a nectarine, or even if they do, it's attitude and actions that count.

Anyway, the thing is, the idiot shoulda kept his trap shut and Jesse and Al should get an honest job instead of being parasites. And enough with the `victims' poo-poo. That's how this monkey sees it.

And speaking of idiots and things you shouldn't of them is run from cops. FF's buddy Canker sent him a little something about what can happen if you're dumb enough to do that! A warning...we're talking graphic stuff here. I wouldn't look if I were you.


Told you not to look. Now clean up the coffee from your desk.

What's more interesting is Canker's article about this. Aparently a bunch of British cops were circulating these pix with the caption `Moral: Don't run from the police' and were officially reprimanded for being racist..because the primate in the photos happened to be black! In other words, this guy wasn't a criminal running from the cops..but a victim! And even worse was the head of the Black policemen's Association in Hertfordshire who complained about the racism in showing the pictures and said the cops weren't disciplined enough. He got to be a victim too. Like Canker sez, it's like a thought crime.
But to me, the worse crime is the constant victim mindset.

I mean, are we all grown-ups here or what?

You gotta wonder whether the cure is worse than the disease, hmmmmm?


Now, I got a coupla e-mails about the golf game I had with OJ Simpson. Some of you think he cheated. I mean, OJ's a celebrity..he'd never do a thing like that, would he? Of course, OJ's thing, what we discussed while we were playing guessed it. OJ as a victim getting his book and his tv show cancelled and everything.

Even the stupid publisher, the one that put up all the money for OJ's book saying how he woulda killed those people and gotten away with it IF he had done it...she's a victim too!

Weekend Monkey's motto is never to be a victim.

Next time I play OJ ,maybe I'll hire Kato as my caddie. Or get my intern to do it.

Well, that's this weeks Real always, send all offers for paid university lectures and public appearences, free goodies, comments, naughty pix and ideas to

And please, no more e-mails from Nigeria offering to split stolen money with me.


Anonymous said...

hey chimp boy,

race pimps like Reverend Al and Jessie Jackson are rolling in this like an orangatang in some fresh dung.

and just how would you know this?
just curious chimp boy.

Anonymous said...

`Chimp boy'?

Let's leave your family out of this.