Friday, May 14, 2010

Comparing Governors - California Vs. Texas

The Governor of California and the Governor of Texas are both jogging along a marked trail in their home states, accompanied by a pet dog. A coyote jumps out and attacks the dog. Here is what follows:

#1. Governor starts to intervene and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.
#2. Calls animal control. Animal control captures coyote and spends $200 testing it for diseases and $500 relocating it.
#3. Calls veterinarian, who collects dead dog and bills $200 to test it for diseases.
#4. Governor goes to hospital and runs up a bill for $3500 to get bite wound cleaned and bandaged, as well as being tested for possible diseases from the coyote.
#5. Jogging trail is shut down for 6 months while State Department of Wildlife Services conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is clear of dangerous animals.
#6. Governor allots $50,000 to start a state-run coyote-awareness program for people who live in the area.
#7. State legislature spends $2 million on a study to investigate how to better handle rabies and make recommendations to eradicate animal-borne diseases.
#8. Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack and for allowing the Governor to try at first to intervene.
#9. State spends $75,000 required to train a new security agent for the Governor.
#10. California State Employees Union files a lawsuit demanding re-hiring of prior security agent.
#11. PETA files lawsuit to protest forced relocation of the coyote.

#1. Governor expends one .380 ACP Gold Dot Hollow Point, previously acquired for $1.23 at his own personal expense.
#2. Governor and dog happily keep on jogging.

Does anyone wonder why California is broke?

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louielouie said...

i don't think ff has covered the entire picture.
numerous items in the kahleeforneeah scenario require a) sub-paragraphs, if not outright separate items.
for starters, joggers would file suit against the state to re-open the trail.
the security detail would no doubt be female, bigotry on my part, so how on earth could she be fired in the first place.
also, the employee union would want an additional agent added to the detail.
next, coyote protection groups would file suit stating that the re-action of the state is disproportionate.
finally, did ff ever stop to consider that in posting this comparison, he has offended coyotes everywhere, and risks action taken, against him personally, by organizations such as Friends of Coyotes, Unlimited(FoC U).

completely off topic comment:
when i went to merriam-webster to check some spelling, the word submitted by one, Yousr Shaltout, for display as new words is KHASHIYA. the definition of the word is then given. the definiton is incorrect though. it should read "re-education of the infidel".

louielouie said...

and as a follow-up, as a resident of a neighboring state of texas, i have nothing against coyotes