Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Weekend Monkey's Column: After The Fit Hits The Shan

Hidey Ho, Primates! Welcome to the one and only Real Banana, your source for the real poop on politics.

Let's do it and get to it..

President Obama may be in denial primates, but my Democrats are about to take a major donkey whupping. And going around the country blaming the voters or FOX News is pathetic.

I'm not laying any shekels out or making picks yet, but a whole lot of the Democratic class of 2006 and 2008 is about to go bye bye, and even some old familiar faces are likely to join them.I'd be surprised if the ReThugs picked up less than 50 seats. The banana's just as rotten when it comes to state legislatures, which affects redistricting and could have a really lousy effect for Democrats in 2012.

I was also willing to give pretty good odds that the Senate would stay Democratic. Was. At this point, even that's problematical.

The GOP started out with 41 seats and they were always going to scoop up five pickups - Arkansas, Colorado, Pennsylvania, Indiana and North Dakota. That's half way up the tree to taking the Senate, but I figured the max the ReThugs could put together was a gain of 7 seats.Especially after Tea Party wacko Christine O'Donnell won the nomination in Delaware and started riffing on her old witchcraft days...hoo hoo!

But look what's happened since. While everybody's getting a good laugh out of O'Donnell, things have gotten crazier than a buncha baboons on the rampage.

In Wisconsin, incumbent Russ Feingold has all but lost his seat to a GOP newbie, And Patty Murray, Babs Boxer and Kirsten Gillibrand are holding on by their fingernails in Washington, California and New York, which nobody figured on. Guv Joe Meachin, who was supposed to be a lock to win West Virginia is getting stomped by Republican John Raese to the point where Meachin is yakking it up about repealing Obamacare.

Harry Reid is either neck and neck or slightly behind, depending on who you listen to in Nevada, and Rethug Mark Kirk is actually leading in Illinois in the fight for Obama's old seat. And in Connecticut, ex-WWF queen Linda Mcmahon is bodyslamming Richard Blumenthal to the point where she's only a few points behind and the race is a tossup.

Numbers,primates - the Rethugs needed 10 seats to take the Senate and they already had five. They've apparently picked up Wisconsin, which makes six. Out of the four more they need, they're already leading in Illinois and West Virginia, and tied or close to it in the other five with only about four weeks to go until chad pushing time.

I'll simplify it for you - instead of needing to win all the close ones like before, the Rethugs now only need to go 4 out of 7...and they're ahead in two of those races. Even worse, the Democratic jungle in the Northeast could get breached if New York and Connecticut go ReThug.

The weird thing is that this carnage might lead to Obama getting re-elected in 2012.

The Rethugs will likely try to get spending under control and balance the budget, but things have gotten pretty far out of whack and they may not be able to. Not only that, But Obama can still use his veto pen.

If the economy is still poopy in 2012, Obama can campaign on how bad things are because of the know how this president likes to blame others for his screw ups! But if things are rosy,hey he can claim the credit.

Of course, that would depend on him making a few changes in his basic act. And a lot of other people being willing to keep their mouths shut and fall on their swords for him in exchange for those lovely presidential get-out-of-jail free cards known as pardons. Susan MacDougal, Webb Hubbell and a few others could tell you how that game is played.

But if all that works out, Obama could very well be ready for another term in 2012. So for my democrats, there could be a silver lining to this it a little taste of caviar to make a poop sandwich a little more palatable.

See yah later, Primates!

Weekend Monkey was a Democratic candidate for president in 2008 and is JoshuaPundit's political Guru. He can be reached at

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louielouie said...

that we are having a discussion about how close some of these races are, is proof how far this nation has slipped from being the united states of america.
as much as monkey boy chooses to identify dimocrat and republican party affiliations, misses the key point of this coming election.
this will be the first election between socialists, and non-socialists.
between corporatists, and capitalists.
that is what this has come down to. the continued creation of the nanny state, or individual dependence and determination.
the only way to prevent what chimpy accurately describes in 2012 is for the tea partys to not lose focus and call hussein what he is.

Freedom Fighter said...

Hi Louie,

How're things?

Be reasonable...after all WM is a Democrat, albeit more sensible than most.

But you're right of course...this is a contest between statists and conservatives, between the Constitution and neo-marxism.

I'd go a step further and say that what we really need to prevent BHO from trying to inflict himself on the country in 2012 is a conservative House and Senate that will investigate him thoroughly and have the stones to impeach him.

The Big Pharma deal, his illegal campaign contributions from overseas, the circumstances around his trying to make a deal with Blago to get Valerie Jarret Obama's old Senate seat and the Black Panther voting rights case and the associated cover up are good places to start.

I think that's what Monkey was referring to in the last part of his column.

Nixon resigned for doing far less.